Saturday, March 31, 2007

where I live theres a blanket of sighs and it covers the stars in my heart I'm as hungry as ever where I live I'm afraid that I walk everywhere on my hands I don't trust where my feet want to take me

Here's a scene:
A 30 year old woman has been stranded in a foreign country for five days with the knowledge that a member of her family has died. As a result of being stranded, she is almost totally incommunicado. She finally arrives back at her house exhausted in mind, body and heart, and feeling more lonely and homesick than there are words for. Ever the optimist, she calls her boyfriend of nearly 6 months (who she hasn't seen since she left for holiday, and who leaves the next day for a conference) and the following conversation ensues;

Him: How are you doing?
Her: I'm fucking lonely and sad and miserable I want to be home. Will you come over?
Him: I hadn't planned on it.
Her: Well I'm not asking you to come over and stay, I thought you might want to see me. I kind of need you right now. The funeral starts in about an hour.
Him: Well I've got lots of work, and I'm leaving for this conference tomorrow. I think if I was to come over I would feel stressed.
Her:.........defence mechanisms arise, the rationalisations begin.......well if he doesn't want to come over I'll convince myself I don't want him to come over.......

What she wishes she said: TAKE YOUR FUCKING STRESS AND STICK IT UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE MY FAMILY ARE BURYING ONE OF OUR OWN IF YOU WERE ANY SORT OF MAN YOU'D STEP UP RIGHT NOW COME OVER AND SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR A FEW MINUTES, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!
... your about-to-be-ex-girlfriend that is.....

I can't wait to tell him that "It's not me, it's you".