How to completely wreck yourself in 10 easy steps

1- Spend your last night in your home country sitting up late with your bff drinking wine. Continue the last 12 days trend of waking up at 7 am.

2- Arrive at airport at 1.30 to check in for international flights. Wait in airport for 1 & 1/2 hours.

3- Fly to Auckland at 3pm. Wait in Auckland airport for 3 & 1/2 hours. Drink 2 pints of Speights.

4- Fly to LA. Manage approximately 4 hours sleep. Read Ramsay's autobiography from cover to cover and watch 2 & 1/2 episodes of Top Gear.

5- Due to poor planning on ticket-booker's part, miss connecting flight from LA to Chicago. Wait in LAX for 10 hours. During that time, attempt sleep. Due to screaming children and stupid airport security announcements, manage about 1 & 1/2 hours sleep.

6- Fly from LA to Chicago at 11pm. Manage zero hours of sleep.

7- Wait in Chicago airport for 1 & 1/2 hours. Achieve zero sleep.

8- Fly from Chicago to Syracuse. Manage 1 hour's sleep. Arrive in Syracuse 9am.

9- Arrive at house in time to have cup of tea with Tyra, shower, and find half clean clothes.

10- Go to school, teach 2 classes.

Total travel time: nearly 40 hours
Total sleep: 6 & 1/2 hours
Total distance covered: approximately 15,ooo kms
Total wrecked-ness: unprecedented.