Sunday, April 30, 2006

Drinking + emailing? Cue hilarity.

Last night me and my trusty sidekicks R-bizzle and H-lizzle went to the pub to talk about shopping and boys and pedagogy and I drank a few Coronas and then a couple of scotches and was feeling all scrummy and this boy came up to us and tapped me on the shoulder and I thought he was tapping me on the shoulder to get me to move cos I was in his way but no it turned out he wanted to ask us to go and see his band play next weekend somewhere out of town I said Sorry dude, no can do bro, I ain't got me no car except I would rather eat glass than use double negatives, so I said it properly. He took it well, all things considered.

Then I came home and decided it would be a REALLY GOOD IDEA to turn my computer on instead of going straight to bed and then I had another brainfart and decided WHAT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER would be to not only COMPOSE but to actually SEND an email to my mystery secret boyfriend. Man, was that daft or what?

I checked out my sent messages box when I came to this morning and it could have been worse all things considered but there is a mighty good chance he is currently sitting at his computer and scratching his head going "What the Fuck?" (capitals to stress gravity of the situation).
Ah, but we shall see, and no doubt I will document every minute detail of my tortured existence on the internerds.

Update: One shopping expedition, one Ruby Tuesday's bacon jack burger, three slides for next week's presentation, one episode of The West Wing and several hours inbox remains suspiciously empty.
Oooooh bollocks.

Update on the update: I am majorly paranoid, as all is well.
Aha, perhaps time to divert some of this energy into more productive channels?...

In other news...WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
Stormers? Well bollocks to you, Western Provinces!!! We're still second on the table!!! Suck on that, De Wet Barry and your odd-shaped head!!! Besides, we have cool theme music, shiny red and black uniforms, and HORSIES!!!
Hang in there Crusaders, in 3 weeks I will be cheering for you from the comfort of my warm seat in the snazzy corporate box where they bring me beer and sandwiches!!!
Yep, that's the life we lives in the C-town. Only 14 sleeps.....

Friday, April 28, 2006

The power of Christ compels me!!

I was at a party tonight and there was a guy there who is an actual real minister in an actual real church and he had a few beers and was asking if anyone needed blessing so I said yes my arse does so he blessed my arse its now holy and you all must worship it. That is all the end.

Edit: Updates on Blogstock LA are here
Bring the noise!!!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Blogstock LA May 12th

Top man totty, albeit a little toasted.

Bring it on.....

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

One of those posts in which I tell Americans what to do....

Americans really need to shut the hell up when it comes to the current round of complaints about the cost of petrol.
Here's news. The rest of the world pays A FUCK OF A LOT MORE than you do.
Here's more news. Petrol should be expensive.
It should be taxed to discourage people from excessive consumption and to encourage alternative sources of energy.
The current consumption of fossil fuels is killing the planet.

In NZ a litre of petrol costs $1.70.
OK I know my maths sucks, but I estimate that if Americans paid the same as us, it would cost over $5 a gallon. I also realise that it costs a lot more to get petrol to NZ cos we're miles from anywhere, but still.

You pay bollocks all for petrol, you have done so for decades, its time to join the rest of the world.

*climbs down off soapbox*

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Because rules are for losers and squares....

My self-imposed rule about not drinking booze during the week may well be thrown out the window within the next few hours....too much stress....head exploding....

Whine whinge grizzle moan and grump etc etc ad nauseum.
Ok that will be all for now.

No it won't. I just called my best friend at work at the video shop and asked if they had a copy of Showgirls cos its my standard joke and she was really busy and couldn't talk cos its a rainy ANZAC day at home so I said I would talk to her really soon, but it reminded me of another time I called her and did the same thing and she didn't recognise my voice and went "ummm, you want vhs or dvd?..." and I went "Haha it's me you got suckered!"
It was pretty funny.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

When I wanna see right through you, Flyin', highin', Freddy voodoo lucid dreaming, magic wonder can you see this, spell I'm under? make you wander with that rhythm feel it moving, through your system step on, steppers, step up to it all you got to do is do it

Today when I read blogs I didn't start at the top of my list and work my way down instead I began at the bottom and worked up it was a fresh perspective on the world.
Although, people need to make more of an effort to update cos we must have something to keep us amused on the weekends.

So instead of working for the past hour I have been looking up cocktail recipes on the Webtender its awesome because you can cross reference ingredients so you don't end up buying a whole bottle of stuff for one or two drinks you can design your cocktail list as to maximise efficient allocation of ingredients HOLY SHIT I NEED TO STOP TURNING INTO AN ECONOMIST.
So I've decided on cocktails only now I need to make sure that me Dad is still ok with having my peeps invade his house for cocktails and of course I called him AND HES NOT HOME bugger.

Instead I am going to send another email to my mystery secret boyfriend ooooh I love how life is JUST SO GOSH DARNED INTERESTING!!!

Saturday, April 22, 2006


Or, In Which Claire Comes to Terms With The Horrific Amount of Work That Must Be Done Within The Next Seventeen Days, And By Way Of Coping, Eats Mexican Food, Drinks Wine and Watches Bollywood Movies. And Goes a Bit Mental.

Record breaking longest post title ever in the history of the world.
I made it rain. I told my friends to abandon their work and come over tonight and drink beer on the porch because it was super warm yesterday and then woke up today to lots of lovely rain. Oops.
I am impressed with my weather making power. Perhaps I should leave school and instead go to drought ridden places and plan BBQs and wash my car, which are also ways to make it rain.

The Sugarcubes are way cooler than Bjork alone has ever been.

OK so I have a presentation Tuesday week and a paper to hand in Friday after that on the same thing and currently the paper is 28 pages long and complete shite and it needs to be 20-25 pages and FUCKING AWESOME because I got shite marks for the earlier papers that this final paper is currently a cut and pasted version of and is in dire need of a large dose of BRILLIANCE and a lot more research so I get an A for it.
I also have another paper to write that should be fairly easy, and another paper that will be Most Challenging but also Muchos Interesting and that has to be BRILLIANT as well because the prof for that course is the prof who is cool and who I want to be my advisor so I must impress him with my fantastic-ness.
So, no pressure.

But now its burrito and wine o'clock cos its Saturday night and I am the Queen of Party-town.

This post brought to you by the sweet sounds of XM Ethel.

Friday, April 21, 2006

In which Spring has Sprung and the Grass is Riz

Today my camera and I went for a walk to university because I needed to buy a keyboard because typing for extended periods of time on a laptop is injurious to your health. So anyway I got all showered etc and it was so SUNNY and WARM that I put sunscreen on because I am the whitest person in the world except maybe for the beautiful Hesty either way I'm pretty damn white and freckles abound.
So all sunscreened up I walked in the lovely sunshine to university and saw lots of happy spring time flowers on the way and perhaps I need to hang out with Nic's mum for a while to get the hang of it but I couldn't resist documenting all the spring time prettiness.
And now I am typing on my styling new keyboard and its
after 4pm and I'm yet to do any real work for the day I think perhaps tonight will be one of those uber geeky Friday nights in which I hang out at home with my books.

Blogger is being a bit of a dick with the old photos today or perhaps its just that I am a bit of a retard.

My cousin is getting married today. This is good, but a little scary because one of the earliest memories I have is of going to the hospital to see him when he was born so as far as I'm concerned hes a wee baby aside from the fact that now he is all growed up and owns a house and within a matter hours will be a married man oh boy.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Tell me where I'm supposed to begin, move out of sight and onto some life I'm dreaming of, for everything you thought you had has gone from worse to bad
I totally stole this top pic off this lass. I think she stole it off someone else.

Last night I ate a small Crunchie bar and then half a big Crunchie bar and then the other half of the big Crunchie bar and I felt kind of ill. And while I was eating I was watching House which was silly because during class I got all inspired to work on my presentation which is in two weeks from yesterday and then I got distracted from work and enthusiasm by the internets and the telly when I would have been better to do lots of work and channel my energy into a pretty and informative slide show using lots of big words instead I wasted brain cells and ate chocolately hokey-pokey goodness.

Blogstock LA, or Not Blogstock as it is to be called within hearing range of Pitt, is coming along nicely and it thanks you for asking. I bought my tickets the other day so I have two days in LA which sounds like it should be the title of a movie I don't know if it is anyway I've got a little over 48 hours in which to find Viggo, get him to fall hopelessly and irredeemably in love with me, meet up with some bloggers, get drunk, do some touristy things, but some crappy souvenirs for the kids ok and some crappy souvenirs for me too, and get my arse to the airport in time to catch my flight HOME!!!!!
I am going to be the most annoying person alive on that flight I will be bouncing up and down in my seat and asking in the manner of Bart and Lisa Simpson or similar "arewethereyet arewethereyet arewethereyet arewethereyet arewethereyet" for 14 hours and then I'll pace up and down the airport in Auckland (where the Orcs come from) for two and a half hours and then as soon as the plane lands I'll be tearing open the doors and jumping out and pushing little old ladies out of my way and leaping over baggage trolleys in a mad rush to see my peeps cos nine and a half months is too long I won't be doing that again.

I've just watched three hours of telly although there was no Lost tonight which kind of complicates my weekly Wednesday night taunting of Ben going "OMG you will not believe what happened on Lost tonight...X shagged X and it turns out that before they got on the plane X and X did X with X's brother and it turns out that X is one of the Others and X knows but won't say because of X" except instead of writing X I'll write *%##*() and then Ben counts the number of characters I type thinking that will be some clue as to the name of the person I'm on about blissfully aware of the fact I'm completely making shit up. Although I think he's on to me now.

But Alias is back and I didn't really need to waste 2 hours watching it but Sydney had a baby yippee for her and her dad is cool and her mums a beeyatch. Sydney's mum, not the baby's mum.
And CSI NY was good, that Danny's a bit fit.

And now its five minutes before midnight and I am PRO CRASS TIN AYE TING and this blog is really going nowhere except on the fast train to stream-of-consciousness-ville so goodnight and good luck be good to each other.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

News just to hand.....

I will not fall for the lines this time, I will remain strong and resolute and virtuous (shut up Tim) and not get suckered in by empty promises and flattery and proclamations of my alleged beauty but will instead be the metaphorical ice princess not playing hard to get but being hard to get because I have more important things to worry about like saving the world and turning thirty.



Monday, April 17, 2006

I have the most awesome friends on the planet

Honestly, sometimes I really think I don't deserve half the things I get. Then I realise that I must have done something REALLY FUCKING GOOD in a previous life to merit all the goodness I have recieved in this one.
Like, maybe I was a nun who spent fifty years living in a shack in some desperately poor place and spent my time de-worming orphans and teaching illiterate farm workers to read.
Or something.
Suggestions in the box.
Today I recieved a rather unexpected surprise in the post, a most chocolatey care package from my dear friend at home, which makes, I think, unexpected gift of love # 6 since I have been here. Which is only since August.
And I didn't even do anything to merit a gift like this!!!
Theres some quote about real riches being the number of people on earth who love you, and by that standard I am filthy stinky rich because there are all these lovely people who send me presents like this COMPLETELY UNEXPECTEDLY and most deliciously (ok the Gryffindor scarf wasn't delicious in a chocolately goodness kind of way, but it is still the coolest scarf anyone has made for me, and the cds are not proving to be completely digestable....but you get my point).
So a big YAY to Faine for sending me this lovely present and I am grateful for the good people out there who love me.

There is, of course, a post script to this story.

Foolishly, I left the box of chocolate unattended while I went to a chiropractor's appointment.

I arrived home to this.

Yep, Raji overcame his lack of opposable thumbs to get stuck into my stash, and managed to eat himself into a sugar coma.

Fucking tiger.

Genuine white Bengali tigerskin coat, anyone?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

I was all keen to blog and have a rant about this and that and the other thing but then I read this and it made me sick and I still feel sick and it made my cry and it broke my heart and I wanted to blog about it but I'm wondering if I should or not because I don't want to give the demon that did that any more fame or kudos or imply that he is in some way worthy of any attention unless that attention is pure unadulterated hatred abhorrence disgust sorrow but I also think that people need to know and they should get up in arms about this because a world that isn't completely shattered by this that isn't broken at the very core that isn't torn up screaming and wracked with grief sobbing inconsolably uncontrollably ferociously furiously tearing its hair prone on the floor unable to stand speak breathe move with the sheer weight of anguish is not a world that I want to live in.

So I say stand up and speak out about the wrongness the hideousness the perversity the pure unmitigated evil of this act against an innocent child someone's precious angel someone's hope for the future someone's baby.
Stand on the street corner and demand vengeance, argue with your neighbours about what would make a person do such a thing, have stand up screaming matches about the virtues and flaws of the death penalty, try and understand if you can what would drive a man to such an act, read the news until it makes you sick to your stomach but DO NOT accept this as an unfortunate evil of the world we live in because wrong is not a big enough word for what that child went through what that monster put her through it's in times like this that I really hope that religion is right about heaven so that wee girl is in the care of those who love her and that those here who miss her can take comfort in that fact and know they will see her again and Oh God I can't stop crying she looks like Sami.

Update: It appears the powers that be have shut down Tony's site, or that somehow it is broken. I hope it will be back soon, but if you really want to know what I was so upset about click here. It hit me pretty hard as you can probably see.

Update on the update: Tony's site is back up.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

At least I taught her full Indian dinner, the rest is up to God.

Aiiiiiiii.....we got thunder, we got lightening, and we go.....yep. We got rain.
Its another action packed Friday night here at Claire's House of Fun. I did washing, I did groceries, I ate pasta (mmmm.), I drank some wine, I watched a film.
Its hard work keeping up with me, even I have a hell of a time with it.

Ummmm, what does we have to say.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah are what Bailter Space would have sounded like about 15 years ago if Chris Knox had been their singer.
It's clean sheet day and that makes me so much happier than it really should.
I need a new bookshelf already, and I've only been here since August.
Yesterday I got a wooden splinter stuck in my finger just underneath the nail in the really tender bit and I said a bad word then pulled it out with the tweezers and then it really began to hurt.
Because I think weighing oneself is a bit daft when one is exercising to get all fit and toned because of the whole muscle weight thingy also the scales at mine are a bit shady, I have been measuring myself and I've lost an inch on my tummy and an inch on my thighs. Not exactly dramatic but a sign that my efforts are working.

OK time to turn out the lights and lie in bed and listen to the funky weather. Booya.
30 sleeps to go....

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Stroke of luck or gift from God...hand of fate or devil's claws....

There's a bunch of people online according to my little google talk box thingy and I really want to chat to them all cos I heart all my friends but someone has replaced my eyelids with those big weights that have 1 ton stamped on them that Wile E. Coyote is always trying to drop on Bugs but misses cos hes a pretty crap catcher-of-roadrunners and I can't keep my eyes open much longer just long enough to brush floss and listerine and tuck my bad self into my big empty lonely bed and dream sweet dreams of my imminent arrival home and all the kisses I am going to get from my nieces the two most precious angels ever to walk this earth aside from their brother who is too big and too cool to give his crazy aunty kisses, but not too cool to come and give her a cuddle when we're watching a scary movie or when he's really sleepy that's when he's at his cutest not long my angels before I can spoil you rotten with presents and love happiness is a family you both love and like.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Look on the sidebar there, and click where it says "Paypal" and you too can donate to the "Claire is a poor student who has no problem accepting charity" fund.

Current time: 2.19am.
Currently drinking: Ithaca Beer Company Apricot Wheat.
Currently listening to: a few bars of one song before I get bored and flick to the next one.
Currently doing: a half-arsed job of writing a bunch of stuff as background information for this simulation we're writing in my methods class.
Currently thinking of: my bed, my sparkly shoes, my sister and how much I miss her and how its ok cos I will see her really soon, my best friend who graduated the other day cos she's so clever, the fact I am out of Triscuits.
Currently wishing: that there was a smashingly hot bloke waiting in my bed for me.
Currently wearing: my red trackpants, my too-hot-to-handle moo boot slippers, a brown zip-up jacket that says London on the front.
Currently singing: Blur's "Tender".
Currently lamenting: my complete and utter lack of non-crapness when it comes to singing.
Currently eating: nothing, cos I've run out of Triscuits.
Currently excited about: going to LA and hanging with the beautiful Sunshine, and of course, going home.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

This just in: I rule.

Check it out.
If Grace said it is so, then it must be.
ok that will be all for now.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Five minutes with Claire....

I wrote my paper and handed it in three minutes late and my prof didn't seem too upset bless his wee socks, then I went to visit my other prof and said Hey can I borrow your book to read for this week's class please cos I can't afford to buy it cos I went to Toronto and spent all my money on concert tickets and posh hotels and cocktails he said no worries but please can I have it back on Wednesday because I have to re-read it myself cos even though I wrote it i probably need a wee refresher course before class on Thursday I said cool not a problem then I remembered a paper I have to write by Wednesday morning that I forgot about so not only do I have to prepare a bunch of background material for this simulation we're writing and write a page or so on the purposes and motivations of the simulation design and do about 200 pages of reading for tomorrow night and have questions on them by 1pm tomorrow and read this book of 181 pages by Wednesday but I also have to write a report on this focus group we did ages ago and have it handed in Wednesday morning in class so what am I doing on the internet you ask well just the usual fannying about reading stuff and finding out whats on telly and cursing nbc for having another er repeat this week but also blessing nbc cos the West Wing is really good now and so so so sad it made me cry on Sunday night and for feck's sake Josh would you please marry Donna and I'm also chatting online but now I'm off because I have a lot of reading perhaps this week's reading will be limited to introductions and conclusions and I also have a forgotten paper to write.
Five weeks thirty five sleeps to go booya.
A Monday morning quickie....

I have slept for a grand total of one..two..three..THREE AND A HALF HOURS and now I am scrambling to finish a paper thats due at midday, because instead of staying home all weekend like a good student I went to Toronto (sigh) which is a city we loves because it has nightlife and concerts like Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and the special ultra-cool surprise of The Brunettes as a support act who are just too cute for words and the crowd loved them especially when they played "Holding hands feeding ducks" and they are playing with Clap Your Hands again throughout their tour and are headlining their own show in New York City at the Mercury Lounge on April 18th and anyone who's within range of the New York metropolitan area must go because The Brunettes rule. You have been told.

Also, Interpol and Depeche Mode got together and made sweet sweet love and a bastard child was begotten and its name is She Wants Revenge and I bought their record and it is Good.
I see that other bloggers were having fun not in Toronto and I hate to miss out on stuff especially meeting Gwen and Outlaw cos girls are cooler than boys but I'm glad to see that the people who piss me off also feature on the "people who piss me off" list of those I like and respect. See?

So I missed out on every blogger in Toronto including the ones who were actually in town (sorry Heather!!) but I had fun with my friend and we had dinner with Grimshaw which was lovely and we popped his Thai food cherry which was exciting and now I have to go and finish my civil-military relations paper because its nearly 9am which means its nearly 3 hours until paper has to be finished oh fuck.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Fucking ER is a fucking repeat tonight NBC you fuckers

I am so fucking tired that the words are swimming on the page. I am trying to write a paper thats due on Monday because I don't really think I'll get a bunch of work done this weekend what with being in Toronto and all, and I also have a bunch of stuff thats due on Wednesday plus the usual gajillion pages of reading for the week that takes about two days to get through, but I am slowly coming to the conclusion that its probably a really good idea to sleep when one can instead of staying up working and then having a big insomnia attack at 2am which really sucks when one has to get up for class at 8am man this is a really long sentence stop for a breath phew.

I am trying to get Toronto bloggers to come and have breakfast with me and my friend on Sunday Jeremy said it was gay but hes just jealous because he wasn't invited cos hes not a blogger and besides you shouldn't use gay like its a perjorative term cos I said so cos some people I love an awful lot are gay and it implies theres something wrong with them but besides from being my friend theres nothing at all wrong with them.

Anyway Toronto bloggers come to Aunties and Uncles on Sunday late morning I'll be there with my trusty sidekick well one of them anyway cos theres a whole bunch of other sidekicks who aren't coming on this trip but we are cool and we'll be there and probably Heather as well she's pretty cool you know.
Also if you're not going to see Matthew Good in Waterloo then come to see Clap Your Hands Say Yeah at the Opera House. OK its sold out, but come anyway.

Plans are currently being made for my birthday, people in my beloved hometown, and those precious souls who are making the trip to be there for my birthday party which I'm going to share with them cos its all our birthdays.
It is Super 14 semi-finals weekend May 19th/20th on the day the home semi is not on, because I will be at the home semi sitting in my seat in the corporate box like the spoilt little princess I am. Kind of hard to say the date at this point in time, wait a couple of weeks and then we'll know. My money is on a Crusaders/Waratahs home semi on the Friday, party on Saturday.

It looks like we're having cocktails at me Dad's house then dinner at some new Italian place in Merivale where Volare used to be cos Dad went there and said it was uber hip and happening and the kind of place where my friends can happily coexist beside my aunties and my sister's kidlets and where me and me Mum can get merrily drunken and they won't kick us out anyway Dad's on to it, all I need now it to get a barperson to make us cocktails.

What cocktails do my Chc peeps like?
Note: there will be, without a doubt, apple martinis.
Tim has to shower and Dave has to shave and Ben has to wear matching shoes I know its pretty harsh but thats the way I roll its my party and I'll cry if I want to or boss my friends into looking nice so my Dad doesn't roll his eyes and my sister's kids don't give me hell about having weird friends hell they should be used to it by now they have me for an auntie wear what the feck you want.
Invites will be of the electronic variety, and will arrive all a few weeks.
Plan ahead much?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Say what?

So, I'm going to Toronto, thinking it might be nice to catch up with a couple of bloggers after our Clap Your Hands Say Yeah gig, only to find most of them are leaving town FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY!!!
Well bollocks to that, at least the beauteous Heather will be there and we are going to have delicious drinks and fun times so hahaha.

Last night on House the guest star was the completely cute Dawn.

Speaking of television....time for Sawyer!!!

This post brought to you by the letters ADHD.
Take care now bye bye

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I hope Toronto is ready.....


Yep, got me some Clap Your Hands Say Yeah tickets, got my dancing shoes, got me a road trip!!!
Ooh, I wonder where the after party is?


Monday, April 03, 2006

Help me I'm foreign

The following also applies to tickets to She Wants Revenge the same night. I'll take either!!
Ah fuck, maybe we'll just turn up and stand outside with the scalper scum.
Please someone find me tickets!!!!

Ok as some will have no doubt already discovered by the contents of their inboxes or blog comments, but I am on the hunt for two tickets to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah next weekend in Toronto. The concert is apparently sold out, but this whole sold out thing never prevented me from seeing Fat Freddy's or Salmonella Dub or that Shihad gig or a bunch of other stuff and I refuse to accept defeat.

You see, me and my friend have been talking for weeks about taking a roadtrip to NYC to see a concert because the nightlife here blows goats, but all the good gigs in NYC between now and When I Go Home Via LA are either on a night one of us has class (good on ya, Franz Ferdinand), or sold out (yeah, cheers She Wants Revenge) or way out of the price range of two poor graduate students (thank you very much Gorillaz!!!), and so instead of looking south I turned my gaze north to the mighty land of Canadia, and found the perfect gig on a great night and not too expensive..... until I discovered it had sold out.


Hey, surely someone who knows someone who knows someone who lives in Toronto and who knows a guy who knows a guy will hear my sad plea and find a couple of stray tickets to sell at a not-completely-outrageous price to us.


.....must get out of this town...if only for a night....
What's hot and what's not

I was in the post office today posting things to bloggers and there was this really hot guy there and I was checking him out, running through the list in my head.
Cute? check.
Tall? check.
Well dressed? check.
Smells nice? as far as I could tell.
Decent hair cut? check.
Kind face? check.
Straight? am 98% sure.
And he was checking me out and gave me a wee half smile even though I looked a bit like arse with my bad-hair-hat-day thing going on, and I smiled back, and we made a wee connection, and then he looked away and did this big disgusting snotty hoicky sniff and all of his hotness went completely out the window and I sent some foul thoughts his way and some other thoughts involving nose blowing and not clearing one's sinuses in a public place and then thought that was such a shame cos he would have been really cute if he had some manners.
That was my story for the day the end bye.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Oh look, it's rant o'clock again;
Or, for the sake of your mental health, don't read this post because its just me being mental

I am angry and hateful.
This time, however, my vitriol is directed at one person in particular.
Why? Because I am unceasingly idiotic when it comes to one particular thing. Ok, two particular things, but we're not talking about boys today.
Today, we are angry about the money, and its ability to render me completely at it's mercy.
Yes, I am in graduate school, and therefore am expected to be as poor as a church mouse, but this is just dumb. I just get so angry at myself for continuing to behave in the same fashion over and over again, when experience has proven that attempting to live outside one's means is a Really Freaking Bad Idea (tm).
Shit, its not like I'm thousands of dollars in debt, and sitting here being forced to process my thoughts in order to get them onto the page is demonstrating that this is probably a case of storm, meet teacup, now get in there, but I get so angry with myself with continuing to repeat the same things over and over again, and the thing is I manage to completely rationalise it to myself at the time. I think no, its ok to spend $45 at the supermarket on stuff I really don't need when I only have $100 to live on for two weeks, and then I end up using the money I was supposed to send home to live on instead of sending it home and now my bank account at home is overdrawn by a couple of hundred dollars and I'm waiting for my tax return and the money from the university for my travel grant and my next pay which is a whole 12 days away cos I only got paid on Friday and most of all I hate that I have let myself down again and the real stinger is that the whole thing is going to end up costing me money because I spent the money instead of sending it home.

So what really pisses me off is my ability to talk myself into stuff, which is great because I have crazy fun adventures and do things like bungy jumping but it also sucks arse cos I can completely rationalise spending my severely limited funds on immediate things instead of sending it home to take care of my accidental overdraft.

I often make jokes about being a crazy mental person, but here is some proof for you.
Repeating the same actions over again and expecting different results.
They should just lock me up now.