Monday, December 17, 2007

Home Again

I've been home for 3? 4? days now, and its fucking fantastic.

The kids are awesome, my sister is amazing, my parents are delightful (ask me again tomorrow when I've spent 5 hours in the car with my mum) and I only wish my other sister could be here, but she's busy right now on a cruise ship in Patagonia.

So far I've had 2 pies, 1 meal of fish and chips, 2 L&Ps, one afternoon nap and read half a Neil Gaiman book.
I've done my Xmas shopping, I've gotten drunk with the TBALC crowd (minus the T), I've eaten a delicious BBQ with my best friend, I've been to Riccarton Mall twice, and received Lord-only-knows how many snuggles and cuddles from the children (mostly the girls because Alex is too grown up..... about an inch shorter than me!!!).

Tomorrow I'm off to Wanaka with my parents for a few days then the whole family is off to Gore Bay which Rosie has renamed Bore Gay for Christmas and New Year and I'm going to lounge around and read the 6 books I have with me and then maybe a few more (not remotely school related) and have some more naps and eat some food and drink some wine and explode with happiness.

Yes its all a bit bittersweet but my sister was right. Its so much better being home and seeing for myself how it is all going.
There really is no place like home. Especially when home is the most beautiful place in the world.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

And miles to go before I sleep

Blogging from the city of angels!!!
OK, the airport at the city of angels....

I'm in the Koru Lounge at LAX, having thoroughly enjoyed the shower (half an hour, oh yeah!), the food (cheese, salads, breads, cheese, crackers, fruit, cheese, cold cuts, cheese and cheese), the drinks (L&P baby!!!) and am sitting here pretending to write my history paper.
Its nice hanging out in here with the beautiful people.
I, of course, am sitting here in a black hoodie and trainers and am getting all sorts of "what is she doing in here" looks from my fellow travellers, but fuck 'em.

There is a cute Englishman on the phone, its cozy and warm, and earlier to day I could even see the Hollywood sign from the window. This is pretty special, I think I was onto my fourth LA trip before I saw it because of the godawful pollution here.

And I am on my way home to lick my wounds after the twelve car pile-up of the last nine months but before then I have to finish this fricking paper.

The sunset over the Pacific is really something else.

Monday, December 10, 2007

From the lofty heights of one's thirties, come birthday greetings

Benjamin Joseph!
You are hairy and betrothed!
And now you are thirty!
The Rebel Alliance wishes you a happy burpday, you big geek.

Nothing but love, from Shitsville, New York

(this looks like a poem, but its really not)

Sunday, December 09, 2007

t-minus 96 hours and counting

Dear American Movies and Television;

Its about time we talked about this Christmas nonsense.
Seriously, just cut it out.
I know how you love to promote the economy at this time of year, and that alone I could almost handle. People need to buy things so that other people can have jobs making and transporting and selling those things, and while I have several objections to that in principle, that's not what I'm here to talk to you about today.

My problem is the gooey, disgusting diabetic-coma-inducing cack that is shoved down everybody's throats in an attempt to promote some sort of meaning to this whole seasonal thing.
We KNOW that the early Christians shifted Jesus's birthday so that it fit in with the pagan winter festivals, they appropriated the Christmas tree and all!
We KNOW that the image of Santa in his red suit and shiny boots is owned by the Coca Cola corporation.
We KNOW that according to the laws of physics its not possible for a fat dude and his reindeer to make it around the world in one night.

So ENOUGH with this "spirit of Christmas", childhood wonder, you-must-believe, saccharine, have faith in miracles, red and green, syrupy, cavity-inducing, corporate sponsorship SHIT you continue to shove down our throats.
There is NO SUCH THING as a Christmas miracle, the whole festival is based on half-truths, appropriations and consumerism.
Its a Wonderful Life is a terrible movie, Tom Hanks is evil and must be destroyed, and if I EVER see little Cindy Lou Who I will be sure to not only tell her that Santa isn't real, but also that the Easter Bunny is a fake, that the Tooth Fairy is a ruse invented to condition her to free market economics, and that her parents lied when they said they loved her.

My blog: channelling Dennis Leary since 2004.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

For serious?

There is a huge contemplative post waiting to be written about how I have somehow misplaced whatever it was that I had that made me care about anything*, and how I used to look in wonder at things like snow and stars but now I am just pissed off at them and everything else in the world, but its 8.51pm one week before I go home and I've had 2 small glasses of wine and am feeling a little intoximicated so I'm going to totally break with tradition and lie on my bed and watch CSI then go to bed.

*I am fairly certain that I know where I left it, I just can't look right now. Maybe next week?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

In keeping with the general theme of "Things that My Life is Missing"....

I want one of these.
OK that's all for now.

Monday, November 26, 2007

But its not my kind of scene

iTunes knows what's going on. I turn it on and the first thing to come on is Powderfinger's "My Kind of Scene", as in "its not my kind of scene".
Cos its not. Not this.

I think I had an epiphany tonight.
Everything is coming back.

Maybe its the fact that its 11.46pm and I have too much work to be going to bed anytime soon, maybe its the rain, maybe its the fact that I haven't seen my family for 317 days, maybe its everything thats happened in those 317 days that has tested us all on an atomic level, maybe its the fact that in 16 days I will be confronted with a truth that is eight months and seven days old for everyone who was there but which for me will be all too new because while in my head I know its true, that he is actually gone in the gone-and-not-coming-back kind of gone, I haven't seen their faces, the faces of those little angels who unbeknownst to them taught me to be a better person, the children who I love more than the sun and the moon and the stars, and when I see those faces and I see him in those faces then and only then will it be real.

I can't go posting things on here before I tell people in person, my people here, the ones here who matter and who have been my family. And its not like I can tell people anything, because nothing is decided yet.

But sometimes allowing oneself the option to decide evokes a sense of relief sufficient to generate real tears. Never underestimate the sheer effort it takes on a daily basis to be a stranger in a strange land.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

I find a map and draw a straight line

I have had another friend invitation on facebook, and am unsure of the protocol. I have met this person once, I think, but she just happens to be engaged to the boy who broke my heart 7 years ago. I therefore have very little inclination to want to be nice to her, despite the fact that I have moved on and want everybody to be happy.

Am I too petty? Should I just suck it up? I like to think that I reserve the 'friend' status for people I actually know and like (well, most of the time....)

I talked to a friend about it, and he said I should be her friend, but I think I am just too vindictive and mean. (They're not faults if you know about them, you see....)
I think I want everybody to be happy in love as long as I am happy in love.

Le sigh......

At least I have this to look forward to:

Bring the geekery!

Friday, November 23, 2007

The Definition of Cold

-2 pairs woolly socks
-warm track pants
-long sleeved merino top
-my sister's big brown woollen cardigan
-merino scarf
-polypropylene lined woollen hat
-pure wool gloves
-big heavy sheepskin coat

and it took 15 minutes of walking before I wasn't freezing anymore.

All so that this little fluffy bum could get another walk. The back yard doesn't look like that anymore. Its covered in this cold white stuff.....

Monday, November 19, 2007

In which Tyratae rocks my world and makes my day

The astute reader may have observed that I went to DC the weekend before last. There, at the National Zoo, I realised that the thing my life was missing (aside from inner peace, a recurring role on CSI and a European sports car) is a panda bear.
Now I has one!!! Thanks to the delightful Tyratae, for whom I have insufficient adjectives. She turned up at my door today on the pretence of coming over for crumpets and a cuppa, armed with a bag of early Christmassy gifty love in the shape of a fuzzy soft panda.
But now he needs a name. I was going to name him after my glorious giftgiver, until I came to the conclusion that he is in fact a boy.
To me all bears are boys, just like all cats are girls (sorry Piddy. And Puku. And Felix. And Sprocket. And George. And Matty...... Hell's bells. You're cats! You can't read! Go back to licking your bottoms) I have no idea where this gendered concept of animal identification came from, but hey. Whatevs.

So help me, you last three people who continue to tune in.
Name my panda, and, well, that's it. No prize, except for my approval (just ask my students, that's a rare commodity there!)

Name the bear!
Suggestions in the box please.
Low Red Moon, how can you sleep like a baby?

Just finished a 20 page paper...... only 2 more of those, and 2 six pagers to go, in 3 & 1/2 weeks.
Then I get to go home, for a whole month!

Needless to say my school Crisis of Faith is still going strong, but right now I am 80% certain I will come back here in January. That is a vast improvement over a few weeks ago, when it was getting close to 80% the other way. Hell, odds have been that way for a solid few months now.
All I need to do now is get all this shit done, and not freak out, and then I get some serious whanau time to try and figure out what I am doing.

It doesn't help that I am still mourning the loss of, and that I am PMSing like you have never seen, and I need to get the little windscreen wiper motor on my car fixed and its 1.57am and its cold and I'm tired and I still haven't been able to cuddle baby Caleb cos I'm sick.

I need to call all my friends and apologise in advance for ignoring them for the next 3 & 1/2 weeks.
I also need to go to Vicky's and buy some hand cream for my mum. She has a Vicky's handcream dependency problem.
Only 25 days.......

Thursday, November 15, 2007

In which Claire is overly emotionally invested in TV programmes

Spoiler alert!!!
So I just watched the latest episode of CSI, "Goodbye and Good Luck".

There were tears.

I'm not sure if its pathetic or not, the degree to which I get invested in fictional characters. Right now I am inclined to think that its not that pathetic, but that might be the wine/emotional trauma talking.

A long time ago, perhaps 2 years ago, I began compiling a list of my favourite TV characters. Of course Sara Sidle made the top of that list, for a multitude of reasons, and now she is no longer on television. I am sure that in the CSI universe she still exists, and spoilers I have read tell me that she will be back, but for now, I kind of feel cheated.
I'm kind of pissed off that I have been deprived of my weekly Sara fix, because I find her inspiring.
She is strong and tough and damaged and and brilliant and beautiful and complicated and I can identify with that some of that sort of thing.

But now its 10.46pm and I've got a grip on myself and I have to write a 6 page paper by 9.30am tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know that this may turn into a Jorja Fox fansite.....

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Mad Mad Skillz

I'm going through a pretty major omelette phase right now, I can't explain it. When it comes time to eat all I can think about is eggy goodness, and my creative juices just go wild!

Currently I'm sitting here with the post-prandial satisfaction of one who has yet again excelled in the omelette-making stakes. Today's effort consisted of broccoli, spinach, green peppers, sharp cheese, blue cheese, garlic and chilli sauce, complemented by a rasher or two of bacon. Ok, three.

The trick to a good omelette I have recently discovered is to not put any milk in with the eggs when you mix it up. Then, once you have all the ingredients on the omelette, put a lid on it and turn the heat down as low as it can go, and deliciousness shall ensue.

I also must stress the importance of using free-range SPCA/Humane Society approved eggs, because who wants a side order of cruelty in their meal?

This lesson in the culinary arts brought to you by the giant stack of exams I have to grade by midday tomorrow.

Friday, November 09, 2007

I've said it before and I'll say it again.....

I suck at blogging.

Update: Matt, my brother-from-another-mother (and another country...) had a baby. Wee Caleb (thought you'd like that Sarah) is too cute for words, and contrary to his father's opinion, will NOT be playing rugby for England. He will play for NZ. Because I will steal him. Because he is too cute. Its worth noting that today Matt was wearing his NZ rugby jersey, and that Caleb, all of a day old, was eyeing up the mighty silver fern. Good lad!!!

Going to DC tomorrow. Ok, to Maryland tomorrow, to stay with a family friend, then to see some DC sights and museums then J's Gilbert and Sullivan extravaganza...... awesome.

Have to get up 4 hours to finish this fucking paper.
Nighty night.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Because a change is apparently as good as a holiday....

I cut my hair.

Then I straightened it.

So, in the space of a week I have gone from shoulder length blonde curly hair to a short dark straight bob. Fun times.

Also, how much do I look like Alison Janney in that first pic? Quite a lot, methinks...... although that may be the wine talking.

if only I put as much time and effort into my school work as I do my hair....

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Remember, remember the fifth of Movember

Movember is here again, beware the handlebars!!!!

The Street signed up for the Aussie one, being a resident of Melbourne-town.
Go and hook a brother up. He has promised all sorts of handlebar goodness.

In other news, I carved my first ever pumpkin last weekend. Of course I couldn't carve a face or anything simple like that, I had to aim high.

So, I carved a butterfly.

Cordell carved a Decepticon logo, that was pretty awesome too.

Next day I woke up blonde and went to bed looking like this
The tattoos were fakes, only for my Fairy GothMother costume.

OK time for CSI now.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Can't blog, too much to do.

erraticism to ensue....

And while you're at it, could SOMEONE please fix the Suck Knob? It appears to be stuck on full.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I know you've heard it all before.....

So much to say....

Sang at Karaoke tonight, it was.... well...... its over. Phew

Carved my very first pumpkin tonight, and might I add, I completely kicked it's arse. Photos to follow.

Party fun-times tomorrow, so lets just see what madness ensues. Hours of fun, no doubt....

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Grace Lola Robertson, born at midday, 25th of October, 2007.

I have known her mother since I was 12 years old, which was really quite some time ago.....
I have so many good stories about Bee, I can't wait until Gracie gets old enough to hear them!
Things I am going to tell her when her ears are suitably equipped include: stories about the bucket in Amberley, letters from Bolivia, pics of her mother face down on the sofa in Wanaka..... oh too many to share with the internets!

But there is a brand new person in the world and I am very excited about it and its only 49 days until I am home so I can see her.

This blog brought to you by gushing with happiness, and secondary sponsors homesick and joyous news makes a nice change.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Windswept and Interesting

My nephew sent me this vid of Billy Connolly.
I laughed so hard I nearly puked.
One of the bajillion reasons why I love my nephew more than life itself is his comprehensive understanding of the fact that no matter how old you are, how much education you might have, or how sophisticated you might think you are, farts are still funny.

And now you have been educated, you are free to go.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I just stand by and let you fight your secret war

Reasons why I love Thursdays, by Claire.

- at approximately 7pm today, I got out of my jammies, had a shower, and got changed into some clean jammies.
- I can do loads of work without feeling like I am working, because I am in my jammies.
- No class, so I can work until 9pm and then do nowt.
- Did I mention the jammies?
-Also, there is this programme on CBS....what's it called? Oh yeah...... CSI. Fan geek much?

Also I know that Jorja Fox is leaving but due to events in tonight's episode and spoilers I have read, I refuse to believe the worst.....

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

These eyes are the eyes of the old

So, what's been going on then?

Last night, as part of the "reduce insane car insurance premiums by obtaining a New York licence" campaign, I had to sit through probably the dullest evening of my life. At one point I caught myself considering bashing my head against the desk (built for 12 year old kids, btw, with comfort-free plastic chair attached and not remotely suitable for my nearly six feet leggy frame) as to render myself unconscious to make the boredom end.

This officious little man spend the better part of 4 hours saying about 3 things. One: don't lose your little certificate, cos it costs $20 to get a new one. Two: you can book your road test online or on the phone. Three: on your road test, you will have to stop at a stop sign.

Needless to say, the boredom was interrupted only by continuous insults to my intelligence and the nearly 17 years that I have been driving.

Once the pandering to the lowest common denominator was done, he showed us a video. That was probably the highlight of the whole thing.

It was a "don't drink and drive or bad things will happen to you" movie, filmed in an A&E in Baltimore and featured lots of cool gory stuff like some guy whose leg had snapped in half, and shots of brains with stuff leaking out of them. Cool.

Unfortunately, I believe the video achieved a purpose not quite in line with its intended one. I suspect we were supposed to feel sympathy for these teenagers who got pissed and drove their cars and crashed. Yeah.....not so much.

This one kid drank a case of beer and then drove a 4 wheel farm bike into a tree. He bashed his head and had to have loads of surgery and months of rehabilitation and it was all very sad etc. Then, once he had recovered, he was off out with his mates again, drinking beer and riding farm bikes.

Sympathy gauge stuck on zero.

Perhaps this is cruel, but if a person gets deliberately wasted, chooses to drive a car or a farm bike or other vehicle type thing, then fucks themself up, then that is natural selection at work. Right there is Darwin's thesis in action.

If drunk drivers only fucked themselves up, then there would be no problem.
It when they kill other people on the road that the problem arises, when they make driving unsafe for the rest of us.

I wasn't going to drink and drive before I watched the movie, and I still won't drink and drive.
The only thing it achieved was to further reduce my sympathy (what's less than zero?) for the idiots who endanger the rest of us.

When the whole ordeal was over and I had my little certificate in hand, I stopped off at the supermarket and purchased a six pack of Smithwicks (mmmm. delicious Irish beer. I drank some and I didn't drive my car. See? Its that easy.) and a copy of The Greatest Movie Ever Made to celebrate having survived yet another level of US bureaucracy in action.

Monday, October 15, 2007

I can mock him because I am already there

Nicholas, Knicker-less, Nickel-arse....
He's thirty.
I can laugh because I am 31.
Here he is doing his best impression of a turtle, I believe at Il Casa d'Allan.

You're a dork and we loves you.

Ben, I believe you are next?.......

Friday, October 12, 2007

If my sister changes her name her initials will be E.M.O.

Today is indeed an auspicious day!!!
My sister (the next oldest up, me being the youngest) is getting married.
In Punta Arenas. That's in Chile, FYI.

We are going to video-conference it, via the marvels of Skype, so that my other sister, home in NZ, and I can be there digitally.
Holly suggested that we dress up, so I am going to put my party skirt on and go to her house and drink bubbly things. Ahh.... weddings.

So to all those boys who have been friends of mine over the years and have said to me "that sister of yours is a bit hot" I say now: you had your chance lads, and now its gone, for she is about to marry the coolest Chilean boy in the world.

If any of you happen to be partaking in a liquid refreshment this evening, I ask this of you.
First, raise a glass to my sister and her in-an-hour-and-a-half-will-be husband.

Secondly, and on a more poignant note, raise your glass to Shawn and his beloved late wife Lynette on their wedding anniversary, the first since her death.


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Seriously. BOB FUCKING DYLAN!!!!!

What I did last night: had one of my life's wishes fulfilled.

Since I was about 14, I think, I have wanted to see Bob Dylan live. Thing is, I never thought I would be able to. One of the downsides to my beautiful South Pacific Island home is that music legends on tour are few and far between. Sometimes they will go to Auckland, or do a really expensive gig at some super-expensive resort in Queenstown, but its not often that we get a chance to see them.

However, now that I am living in New York, these things happen. So, last night I got in the car with some lovely people and we drove to Rochester and I had my little mind blown by the fact that I was sitting listening to BOB FUCKING DYLAN LIVE!!!
The Boy came with us, and confessed that he was more of a fan of the first act (who was awesome too, btw, and I will be buying his records no doubt, thank you Elvis Costello), once Dylan began he turned to me and said "Holy shit. That's Bob fucking Dylan" to which I replied I KNOW!!!!!!!

He played Rainy Day Woman, he played Desolation Row, he played a funked up blues version of Masters of War (and I died a little it was fucking epic) and closed with Blowing in the Wind.

I am still reeling from it. It will be a good few days before I can stop proclaiming BOB FUCKING DYLAN!
People here are decidedly underwhelmed by the prospect of seeing legends live, but for a wee lass from the other side of the world, its kind of a big deal.

Elvis Costello rocked my world too.

Monday, October 08, 2007

The sound of four million people in mourning

Yeah, fucking gutted.
I wanted to watch Richie's interview but stuff was misbehaving. Besides, it would probably just upset me more.

Le sigh.

As long as the French don't win. Or the Aussies. I told my sister that I would support the Springboks to win now, to which she responded that if I were to do so she would no longer communicate with me. So, go Argentina!!! It would be nice to see a non-six nations team take the Cup, and I loves me a good underdog, so Argies makes sense.

Of course, there is a lighter side, albeit not one that results in the men in black bringing home the Cup......
TradeMe: a source of hilarity no matter the occasion.
Hahaha. Choke stuck on full. I reckon that Rokocoko boy might be handy around the house.... perhaps I should put in a bid.
Do you think they would ship them to NY?

Friday, October 05, 2007


I have less than 2 hours until my class and no I haven't quite finished the notes on my readings yet because I am a bad person and went to Ithaca last night to see Michael Franti and Spearhead instead of staying at home like a good nerd and doing schoolwork.
However, I am pleased to report that Mr Franti and friends FUCKING ROCKED MY WORLD, having spent most of the gig in the front few rows rocking out leaping up and down waving my hands in the air like I just don't care.
After the concert I declared my need for massive volumes of liquid refreshment in the form of water or similar, to which Paulie responded with the biggest bottle of gatorade one has ever seen. Of course I scoffed at our abilities to consume the entire thing; scoffing which I was gently reminded of about 30 minutes later when the whole thing was gone. Heh.

But now class is rapidly approaching and Sophie is barking and I am in need of more tea and a good hour's worth of last-minute-note-taking so that I don't make a complete arse of myself in front of my class mates.

Also, as it transpires, agricultural policy in developing African countries is more interesting than it sounds. Weird, I know.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Sunday updates

- house and dog sitting again. Much cable and doggie love.

- still recovering from Thursday night's stress. Rumours are doing my loaf.

- can't figure out why I am so tired. Perhaps I have some exotic disease.

- I know I am a sad old nana because given the choice I would rather stay in most nights. See above.

- It turns out that the sainted Sir Thomas More was really rather wrong re: Dick the Shit, and perhaps Dick the Shit was really not that much of a shit after all. My dad will be well disappointed.

- the weather is getting to be so that I can wear my slippers. This brings whole new levels of Happy to my life.

- things are beginning to be ok again, perhaps for the reason that after the twelve car pile up I am more aware of myself and what's going on and am no longer fumbling through in the dark.

- Argentina spanked Ireland today in the rugby, the Irish who were playing like a bunch of guys who had never met each other before, while Argentina proved Henry's claim that a champion team will always beat a team of champions. After the match O'Driscoll pretty much admitted as much.

- I watched Blood Diamond, and am able to admit that while he will never be forgiven for the steaming pile of turd that was Titanic, that DiCaprio boy is one ridiculously good actor.

- I also watched Life, one of NBC's new programmes. Its pretty good, and stars the ginge who was the bad mofo on the new version of the Forsyte Saga.

- my auntie is one of my friends on facebook.

- 73 days to go.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I've got a pain in my sawdust

OK this is just ridiculous.
It is currently t-minus 65 minutes until CSI.

I am supposed to be reading Douglass North's fascinating book "Institutions, Institutional Change and Economic Performance" and taking notes for tomorrow morning's class and packing my bags for a week's house sitting and cooking dinner BUT I CAN'T FUCKING CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING!!!

Seriously, I don't think I have been this nervous/excited/geeked out about a new season premiere ever. EVER, I TELLS YOU!!!
I went to the supermarket this afternoon to satisfy a craving by buying steak for my dinner, but there is no way I can eat. Butterflies in my stomach....... butterflies.

I wonder why I have become so invested in this programme and these characters? Does it mean that there is something fundamentally missing from my life? Perhaps I identify with them because I see pieces of me, or aspire to share their traits?

Ah, who fucking knows.
All I know is that I have been waiting for this night for four freaking months and it had better not let me down or there will be some serious toy-throwing.

57 minutes.
tick tick tick

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

In which Claire asks questions

1) Hypothetically speaking, if one was to have a vege-packed omelette for breakfast and Indian food for lunch, does a meal consisting solely of WeetBix constitute a balanced diet?

2) Is it wrong that I am literally counting down the hours until 9pm tomorrow, aka CSI o'clock?

3) Is it possible that I will make it through tonight's game of soccer without breaking something?

4) When will this disgusting muggy grey oppressive weather end?

5) Do you think its bizarre that I am already excitedly plotting a blog-gathering for March next year that will happily coincide with a certain giant music festival?

6) Just how fabulous are cool blog friends?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I've seen love, and I follow the speed in the star-swept night

Over the last couple of weeks I have been having a mini-crisis about how I know far too little about anything, well more specifically far too little about the stuff I am supposed to know buckets about what with being a Graduate Student and all, with the intention being that ultimately I will be an Expert on Matters of Concern but today that doesn't seem to bother me too much, for the following reasons.

- Sophie is delicious and full of snuggles
- I had bruschetta and dolmades for lunch
- Its a lovely sunny day and I sat outside in the back yard under a tree and read for class
- Said reading is approximately 40 pages, compared to the hundreds one usually encounters
- I have just awoken from a 2 hour nap
- The house I am staying in this weekend is very nice.
- I went to the Farmer's Market this morning and bought a supermarket bag half full of tomatoes for $4. If you know how much I adore tomatoes, you will recognise how happy that is likely to make me.
- Sophie and I are about to embark upon a walk in the evening breeze, complete with all the delightful dappled light that tree-lined neighbourhoods provide.

This post brought to you by late summer Saturdays.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I never did mind about the little things

It appears that some of my students have a wee problem with geography. Apparently Tasmania and Tanzania are easily confused.

In other news, I went to the dreaded DMV today and magically (finally) had all the right forms and passed the test and am now a legal beagle in terms of driving my car in the Empire State.

To celebrate, here is a puppy.

Does anyone still read this?

Also, happy Talk Like A Pirate Day. Arrrrrr!!!!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Update o'clock.

Today I wrote cheques, the sum total of which adds up to $361.13. Ouch.

This evening I baked some chocolate chippies. Well, I made the mixture up, which is currently sitting overnight in le fridge, as per instructions. I can't follow a recipe to save my life, so hopefully they won't suck. Hell, if the uncooked mixture is anything to go by, these bikkies will Rock the House. And quite possibly the Casbah, only time will tell.

Next weekend I am on Sophie duty, which entails the following. Stay at a professor's super nice house. Eat their delicious food, drink their delicious wine, and watch their giant cable telly. Get taken out for dinner by said professor's wife, before they take off for the weekend. Play with their cuter-than-cute dog and walk her a few times a day. Get paid for doing so.

On Saturday I made that boy come over and help me sand down the window frames. I am still learning how to be around him again under these new circumstances, but I think it went ok.

I am posting pictures of me because apparently they are worth a thousand words each, which makes this the longest post ever.

In a further contribution to the time wasting extravaganza that is my life, I have recently begun watching The 4400. I know its old news, but I like it so far.

Ok thats enough for you.
Except for this: today I got to snuggle a cute little kitten.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Cause what doesn't kill us now just makes us better whores

OK sometimes honesty is the best policy.

I have spent the last few months trying to convince myself and anybody who will listen that I completely hated him, that he was a complete twat and every single thing he has ever done is totally inexcusable.
That is exhausting, I can tell you, and I can't keep it up anymore.
So, in an effort to make my life a bit easier, I have tried a different tack.
Of everything in the last six months, this is the only thing I have a measure of control over, so tonight we sat down and I was honest and admitted everything and confessed to trying so hard to hate him because that would have surely made my life easier but it turns out that something doesn't become true dependant on how much we think we wish it to be so. And he explained his part in the whole thing and apologised for some parts and explained others and we talked and laughed and cried and made the beginnings of a peace and now a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can get on with it all.

I had all sorts of wonderfully philosophical things I was going to write here but then I got talking to Ben about cricket and accents and drinking with the Irish and computer bugs so I got all distracted so now I am going to watch Eureka. I thoroughly recommend it.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

I find myself overcome with an overwhelming Sad.
There are things that I Know in my head and I would swear the truth of them until I fell down, but somehow I cannot make my heart believe in them.

In the general scheme of things it all means very little; there are people out there who are learning how to breathe again in this raw new world, but at 12.38 am at the end of a long Monday at the end of a long desperate tragic broken summer one tends to lose perspective.

I remember everything he said and everything that we were and the wounds we caused and the way we were and I can't help but wish for an alternative outcome of events. She has given me her blessing to return to him should my heart win out over my head but I know that I would always be second to her, that he would only have me because he couldn't have her and I Know in my head that I deserve better than that but that doesn't seem to mean much to the rest of me.

I am a reasonably clever person, you know? I have 3 degrees and a graduate diploma, not to mention the scholarship I am on for my PhD. So what pisses me off no end is that I can't figure this out.
I recognise the context of it all and that context contributed to both my weakness and my inability to properly grieve at the time, but that still doesn't help me to end it all. I should be able to put this behind me, you know? But none of that changed the way we were and what he meant to me and the massive divide between what I know and what I feel.

Fuck this. Time for a beer and some CSI.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Michelle tagged me

1. Are you a bath products girl, a shoe girl or a lingerie girl?
Can I go for option 4? I do have some sexy bitch shoes, but being a good Kiwi chick I am barefoot most of the time. I am severely limited in the saucy knickers department, but that is probably more to do with body image than anything.
So, if I had to pick, I would say bath products. Although all I have in the bathroom is shampoo, conditioner and soap-free body wash.

2. You are stranded on a desert island, you are allowed to take three items, what are they?
Item 1: A large well stocked picnic hamper containing endless supplies of the finest Marlborough sauvignon blanc, loads of cheese and crackers, tomatoes, bocconcini, fresh basil, ciabatta, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, amongst other things.
Item 2: A tent, complete with air conditioning unit, screened porch, a home theatre system, wireless internet, laptop computer, and one of those fancy 2 door fridge freezer units that makes ice.
Item 3: Clive Owen.

3. Are you are Mummy’s girl or a Daddy’s girl?
That depends on who you ask. I am really one of the lucky few who has not one but two awesome parents, who have different strengths, thus I am both.

4. Beatles or Elvis?
Ummm...... Sargent Pepper Beatles and pre-Vegas Elvis. Psychoanalyse that!!!

5. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Funny, cos I was just thinking about this the other day, and I concluded that while a life without Interpol would initially appear to be a fate worse than death, I think I would choose to retain my sight. Its all academic though, because who gets to choose?

Who shall I tag?

Thursday, September 06, 2007

I am weak!!

Yes, I finally caved and joined Facebook.
Laugh it up, Tim.

If you know my real name you can add me as a friend..... as long as I don't think you're a complete twat of course....

Go on.
None Shall Sleep

Requiescat in Pace, Sr Pavarotti

Yeah, this song still gives me goosebumps.
The fact that a person can sing like that blows my mind.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

And the prize for best use of a Kate Bush song in a series promo goes to.....


Tuesday, September 04, 2007

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"

Yesterday I went on a trip.
A sort of pilgrimage, if you will.

Fifty minutes the other side of Ithaca is a small town called Elmira. Like so many towns in this part of the world, it has a grand history of industry and wealth; a history which unfortunately hasn't endured.

A significant part of Elmira's history, and perhaps the reason it is most famous, is due to the presence of a family by the name of Langdon. The daughter of the Langdon family, one Olivia Langdon, met a friend of her brother's in 1868, and two years later the couple were married at the Langdon home. The young man in question was one Samuel Clemens, who wrote under the pen-name of Mark Twain.

Every summer for 20 years the Clemens' came to Elmira to stay with the family, and in 1874 Samuel's sister-in-law Susan Crane and her husband Theodore gifted Samuel with a study at Quarry Farm, their farmhouse in the hills surrounding Elmira. It was in this study that such works as Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and Life on the Mississippi were written.

Those who are lucky enough to have met him will know that my Dad is a bit of a Mark Twain fan. He is legendary within his Rotary Club for his uncanny ability to summon a quote from Mr Clemens for any occasion, so yesterday's mission was a bit of a Dad day. Needless to say, SOMEONE is going to be getting some Mark Twain/Elmira memorabilia for Christmas.
(Rachael, don't tell him, am going for the element of surprise)

I miss my Dad.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

There's no 'I' in team...

I has a hangover.
Initially I thought I was going to die, that this just might be the one that does me in. I had composed a text message to my mum telling her it was all over red rover, but then the healing powers of my morning (and by 'morning' I mean '1pm') cup of tea kicked in, and I think I may just pull through.

Not such good news for the loo however, in a cleaning frenzy last night my flatmate managed to break the flushing mechanism, so now we are old school and one has to stick one's hand in the tank and lift the thingy up to make it flush..... all a bit much for an Overhung Saturday.

Now its time for the patented hangover breakfast ("It'll cure what ails ya!!") of fried eggs and tater tots while I lounge around in my sexy trackie pants looking super hot. Phwoar.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Warning for the squeamish: bone crushing (literally) sound effects

Less than a month to go!!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

Sunday, August 26, 2007

I close my eyes and the room spins. This tiredness is of the variety that makes me think I will never be untired. Its in my bones, I am worn down to the marrow.
But that is only because today is a grey Sunday and school starts tomorrow and that means that the giant sucking chest wound of a summer is over and that makes me think about it all.
I'm also fucked off because fuckhead ambushed me at the BBQ yesterday and was all pathetic and sad and it was the first time I had seen him since he broke my heart and it all came flooding back and now I am having trouble breathing again. My first words to him were "What part of 'I don't want to talk to you' did you not understand?" then I gave myself a little mental high five.
I was going to send him a big email telling him (again) to fuck off, but then Matt pointed out that I should just leave it, because he's not worth the energy.

But I have more blessings than I can count, and I can count very high, and some of them were out in force today when I spent the day with Maggie and we walked with Holly and I came home to my lovely house and pottered about and tried to make sense of the chaos that is my room. There are things in piles now, and other things in the rubbish and recycling bins, and things on shelves and in cupboards where they should be and that makes my mind more organised because if there is order in my external life then there is far more chance of me making sense of the category five hurricane that is my brain. And now is a good time to start making sense of it all because I have to be in class tomorrow and pretend that I know what I am on about.

Haha good luck with that!!!

Monday, August 20, 2007

The Monday update

This morning when I clicked on Stuff, I was greeted with this photo and that made me happy.

Yesterday I went to the laundromat and the man was there clearing the quarters out of all the machines and he did something to the machines I was using so that my washing was free. That made me happy too.

On Friday night I was all settled in watching geeky TV when Matt called to drag me out to Kitty Hoynes where I drank with the Irish for the first time in many years. You think I can drink? Damn, I got nothing on those lads. Nothing, I tells ya. Saturday was fun, in a "Holy shite I think my head might actually fall off" kind of way.

Flatmate is back tonight so yesterday I finally got my shit sorted and organised my room and last night I finally slept in my new bed of awesomeness and it is huge and fantastic and I think I am in love. I want to buy it presents.

This blog is rated O for Awesome

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Turns out it IS what you get sometime

Today has been a good day.

I sent an email saying things that needed to be said and then closed the book on something and someone and I know that possibly the book may fall off the shelf and land open on the floor and need more of the story but for now I have fulfilled all my responsibilities and have been true to myself and feel all the better for it.

My dear friends the Expectant Married Couple took me out looking for something I need, and on the way stopped off just for me at the pet shop so I could coo over the puppies and pat the little hamster and talk to the birdies and get my baby animal fix for the day.

The much beloved Tyra came over and we shared stories and emails and thoughts and giggled at the ineptitude and continued idiocy and inability to Get The Point of what I and her have been saying for some time now and while its sad that the person in question remains oblivious to The Point you have to admit its kind of funny and I love that after everything we can share and be friends and she doesn't mind that I am still in my shorts-that-I-sleep-in when she comes over and am all dozy from too little cat-interrupted sleep.

She wrote something that is awesome, its here I suggest you read it.

And the fan is blowing and the borrowed cat is curled up cute and sleeping and I have a Dad who tells me that he is proud of me and that I should be true to myself before anything else, and a Mum who tells me I am strong and tells her friends all about me, and two sisters who are beyond fantastic and so strong and beautiful and the three babies who have no idea how much I love them because their lives are filled with people falling over themselves to love them and a best friend who would do anything I asked of her and the knowledge that there are couches and spare rooms in so many cities all over the world that I am welcome to and a family here that has grown and consolidated over this raw violent blistering car wreck of a summer and the knowledge that we are here and are part of something that will endure beyond graduate school and this town.

Also, I have really pretty hair.
And CSI starts on September 27th, which really isn't that far off.
Buckets of fun right here

The definition, in fact, of a box of fun?
Four chocolate labrador puppies in a box, having been taken to the vets for their puppy shots.

I believe I have mentioned these wee guys before, but having just found the cord that connects camera to computer it was finally time to share their little faces.

This wee guy REALLY wanted to come home with me, I could just tell.

The brothers Morris, at Monday's karaoke extravaganza.
Having met their parents a mere few days earlier, I can safely say that I like the entire family!!
How often does that happen?

Miss Tyra getting down with her bad self.

Turns out she really DOES rock the hizzouse.

Yep, I sang.
Me and Bobby McGee.
It was awesome. If by "awesome" you of course mean "prompted by beer and the lack of people in the bar". Yep.

In other news, I just responded to an email from Fuckhead McDickwad, and am happy to report that I employed the following phrase: "you over-estimate me. I am far from being too good-natured to remain unfriendly forever"
and restrained myself from telling him: "it may in fact be emotionally convenient to look for reasons to dislike you, but right now I don't need to look, seeing as how you are handing them out like condoms at Mardi Gras".

Have I mentioned recently how good it is to be me?

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Reason #74 why Stephen Colbert is The Man

Even his icecream is awesome.

Cordell says that I shouldn't be allowed to eat this icecream because it should be for proper Americans, but I say in that case he shouldn't be allowed to eat pavlova and that seemed to do the trick.

Last night I waxed my eyebrows and my skin has rebelled against the waxing ouchies and
today has delivered me a zitty treat.
Lovely, thanks skin.

Speaking of deliveries, the Canadian cat I am looking after left a rather stinky delivery in the bath-tub this morning. I suppose I should be grateful he didn't leave it in my bed, but I am still considering designs for a stylish cat-skin winter hat.

And having had my fill of Colbert-flavoured awesomeness, I shall adjourn to my room and let the paint-stripping and sanding continue.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Matthew Good's new song is fab

Yeah, I suck at blogging.
I would like to say that I'm uber busy doing fabulously exciting things, but then I would be lying and then I would have to smack myself and quite frankly I lack the inclination.

Saturday night supper club ended up here on, well.... Saturday night. It was motivation enough for me to get my house at least resembling something other than the aftermath of a category four hurricane. It was lovely and there was a cute baby and lovely salsa and other culinary delights and some awesome company.
Yeah ok, there was wine too.

On Thursday Tyra and I went to collect Felix from the vet where he had his "put a pin in my broken leg so it heals properly" surgery, and while we were waiting there was the opportunity to smooch not only one, but SEVEN Chocolate Labrador puppies. I took photos, of course, but the cord that connects my camera to my computer is somewhere in my room, and Saturday's cleaning/organising mission was restricted to the kitchen and living room.

There's nothing that really tops off a day like a box of squirming puppy love.
And now, because it is Sunday, I shall be downstairs drinking beer with my neighbour, as opposed to Friday night, when I was upstairs drinking beer with my neighbour.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I live in the house of Awesomeness

OK so I has the internets now. Yay.
20 minutes after I got it I broke it, but thanks to some mad skills on my part I fixed it. Nothing at all to do with the phone call to the guy from Time Warner who was no damn use at all.

These days my life consists of tripping over boxes, unpacking boxes, attempting to do some work, hanging out with some Good People and occasionally stripping paint. OK so the paint stripping has been for about 20 minutes this evening, but it still counts.

An online campaign for donations is under construction, but its not for me, its for an unlucky little feline friend who broke his leg. Cat orthapedic surgery is hella expensive, did you know?
Also, do you know if you have to be a real person to have a PayPal account, or can a cat have one? Details and more cute pictures of the invalid to follow

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Moving Day

Today me and my peeps are moving. Three houseloads in one day!!!

I may be gone for a few days..... also hte sheer volume of stuff that needs moving may render any muscles I have to be useless until Tuesday, which is when the internets is being connected at my new place.

Toodles, play nicely!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Rainy Monday afternoon, T-Minus 3 days until moving

Things that suck include, but not limited to:
- having one's purse stolen. It is still a pain in my arse.
- going to Social Security.
- waiting at Social Security.
- finally getting to the counter at Social Security and being told that you have to come back with a different piece of paper to get a replacement card.
- going back to Social Security Security some days later with that particular piece of paper, waiting in line, and finally being told by an officious little germ of a man that the piece of paper you were told to bring was in fact the wrong piece of paper and that you need to go back to the university and get a whole other piece of paper completely, despite the fact that I am not even applying for a Social Security card, only trying to get a replacement for the one that was stolen.

Things that are at the time immensely satisfying, but are not recommended for daily activities:
- walking out of the Social Security office and into the hall, jumping up and down and screaming "FUCK" at the top of one's lungs.

Things that do not suck at all, and that in fact may be defined as Completely Awesome:
- Holly and Tyra.
- long lunches sitting outside under the verandah with Holly and Tyra eating cheese and quesadillas and chips and dip and drinking wine and talking for over 2 hours.
- Rainy Monday afternoons.

You heard it here first.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Pony up, bitches!!

Ok so here's the thing.

Some of you may be aware that my beloved Sunshine is soon to be vacating Hollyweird for greener pastures, aka graduate school (cos she is INSANELY clever!!), and that there is a drive of several days on her part required to get from past life to future life.

Of course, an attractive young single woman driving across this country unaccompanied is a recipe for the plot of about a bajillion serial killer movies, and quite frankly we can't be having anyone messing with our Sunshine, can we?
Given that I have the privilege of being invited to join the roadtrip of awesomeness (primarily for my secret serial killer fighting ninja skills of course) I need to come up with airfares to get me from the East Coast to the West Coast, and from somewhere in the middle (consults map.....) back to the East Coast, we needs funds, precious.

Now I need a way that I can somehow come up with $435 (yay for and some petrol money (and some spending money, because unfortunately Vegas is on the way.... Cursed geography!!) in the next couple of weeks that doesn't involve me taking any clothes off, doing anything that my Mum and Dad (and my two big sisters) would frown upon, or selling any vital organs. Or any of my stuff (which is a moot point really, because the sum total of my stuff is about $3.75).

I am not convinced that an online plea for donations will work, given that I doubt I have the volume of readers to generate enough to get me a bus ticket downtown, but I am sure the few that I have are very clever and full of lucrative ideas.
Conditions are: Nothing illegal, naked or remotely naughty, or that involves waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a mysterious surgical scar on my side.
Yes, Grimshaw, the conditions apply to you too. I know how your filthy Canadian mind works.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Stuff You Should Be Listening To

Interpol's new album is called Our Love To Admire and its fucking awesome, you all need to go and buy it now or be forever known as a knobrash with questionable taste in music.

It has been decreed.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

What we do round here to pass the time

survivors of Blogchella '07 may remember the mighty red Target chairs.....
Well unfortunately the one I had didn't quite live up to Target's stellar reputation as the source of all that is quality and durable. Last night while sitting on my $4.99 deckchair at the inaugural Supper Club meeting; in a battle between gravity and structural fortitude my chair broke, right underneath me. Completely the fault of shoddy workmanship, and not remotely to do with the rather impressive size of my bottom, to be sure....
Anyway, Cordell (hereafter known as the Ideas Man) suggested that instead of merely tossing the broken chair into the rubbish, we pay homage to the gods of outdoor furniture, and set that motherfucker alight. Being the not-particularly-closeted pyromaniac that I am, how could I resist such an offer?

So here now, I present to you what happens when a group of highly educated people are let loose with beer and fire.

Mmmmm, the scent of burning synthetic fabrics lingers....

Friday, July 13, 2007

News just to hand....

Transformers: Greatest movie ever made.

Giant alien robots: check.
Stuff blowing up: check.
Fighter jets: check.
Hot guys*: check.
Car chases: check.
Cute dog: check.
Government conspiracies: check.
Absence of confusing and complicated plot that hurts brain: check.
Did I mention the giant alien robots? check.

*Josh Duhamel please leave Fergie. She is scary and looks like a man. I am much prettier.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Yet again, a picture is worth a thousand words.....

At least one of my faithful readers knows who I mean.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Read this now

Ok, thats all I've got for today.
However, yesterday I went to Philadelphia (for about 20 minutes, the trip took 12 hours) and on the way back ended up in New Jersey. Don't ask.

Seriously, read this. Too funny.

Friday, July 06, 2007