Hello 2008

Shoulders: sunburnt
Children: delightful
Weather: summery
Home: brilliant
Old Friends: a gift
Hair: blonde
Waistline: a little larger than a month ago
Liver: well and truly punished
Decisions: being made
Life: getting on with it

Awesome.

Home Again

I've been home for 3? 4? days now, and its fucking fantastic.

The kids are awesome, my sister is amazing, my parents are delightful (ask me again tomorrow when I've spent 5 hours in the car with my mum) and I only wish my other sister could be here, but she's busy right now on a cruise ship in Patagonia.

So far I've had 2 pies, 1 meal of fish and chips, 2 L&Ps, one afternoon nap and read half a Neil Gaiman book.
I've done my Xmas shopping, I've gotten drunk with the TBALC crowd (minus the T), I've eaten a delicious BBQ with my best friend, I've been to Riccarton Mall twice, and received Lord-only-knows how many snuggles and cuddles from the children (mostly the girls because Alex is too grown up..... about an inch shorter than me!!!).

Tomorrow I'm off to Wanaka with my parents for a few days then the whole family is off to Gore Bay which Rosie has renamed Bore Gay for Christmas and New Year and I'm going to lounge around and read the 6 books I have with me and then maybe a few more (not remotely school related) and have some more naps and eat some food and drink some wine and explode with happiness.

Yes its all a bit bittersweet but my sister was right. Its so much better being home and seeing for myself how it is all going.
There really is no place like home. Especially when home is the most beautiful place in the world.

t-minus 96 hours and counting

Dear American Movies and Television;

Its about time we talked about this Christmas nonsense.
Seriously, just cut it out.
I know how you love to promote the economy at this time of year, and that alone I could almost handle. People need to buy things so that other people can have jobs making and transporting and selling those things, and while I have several objections to that in principle, that's not what I'm here to talk to you about today.

My problem is the gooey, disgusting diabetic-coma-inducing cack that is shoved down everybody's throats in an attempt to promote some sort of meaning to this whole seasonal thing.
We KNOW that the early Christians shifted Jesus's birthday so that it fit in with the pagan winter festivals, they appropriated the Christmas tree and all!
We KNOW that the image of Santa in his red suit and shiny boots is owned by the Coca Cola corporation.
We KNOW that according to the laws of physics its not possible for a fat dude and his reindeer to make it around the world in one night.

So ENOUGH with this "spirit of Christmas", childhood wonder, you-must-believe, saccharine, have faith in miracles, red and green, syrupy, cavity-inducing, corporate sponsorship SHIT you continue to shove down our throats.
There is NO SUCH THING as a Christmas miracle, the whole festival is based on half-truths, appropriations and consumerism.
Its a Wonderful Life is a terrible movie, Tom Hanks is evil and must be destroyed, and if I EVER see little Cindy Lou Who I will be sure to not only tell her that Santa isn't real, but also that the Easter Bunny is a fake, that the Tooth Fairy is a ruse invented to condition her to free market economics, and that her parents lied when they said they loved her.

My blog: channelling Dennis Leary since 2004.