Pony up, bitches!!

Ok so here's the thing.

Some of you may be aware that my beloved Sunshine is soon to be vacating Hollyweird for greener pastures, aka graduate school (cos she is INSANELY clever!!), and that there is a drive of several days on her part required to get from past life to future life.

Of course, an attractive young single woman driving across this country unaccompanied is a recipe for the plot of about a bajillion serial killer movies, and quite frankly we can't be having anyone messing with our Sunshine, can we?
Given that I have the privilege of being invited to join the roadtrip of awesomeness (primarily for my secret serial killer fighting ninja skills of course) I need to come up with airfares to get me from the East Coast to the West Coast, and from somewhere in the middle (consults map.....) back to the East Coast, we needs funds, precious.

Now I need a way that I can somehow come up with $435 (yay for cheaptickets.com) and some petrol money (and some spending money, because unfortunately Vegas is on the way.... Cursed geography!!) in the next couple of weeks that doesn't involve me taking any clothes off, doing anything that my Mum and Dad (and my two big sisters) would frown upon, or selling any vital organs. Or any of my stuff (which is a moot point really, because the sum total of my stuff is about $3.75).

I am not convinced that an online plea for donations will work, given that I doubt I have the volume of readers to generate enough to get me a bus ticket downtown, but I am sure the few that I have are very clever and full of lucrative ideas.
Conditions are: Nothing illegal, naked or remotely naughty, or that involves waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a mysterious surgical scar on my side.
Yes, Grimshaw, the conditions apply to you too. I know how your filthy Canadian mind works.