Don't tell me what to do, and who the fuck are you?...

My friend is really fucking me off. I know I should be charitable and all that...actually no. Fuck that. I shouldn't.
You hear all these stories about how women are in these bad relationships, and their man is beating them, or cheating on them or something Significantly and Obviously Bad, and so all her friends get together and stage an intervention and get her to break up with the bastard.
Well sometimes I wish (in a really fucked up way) that my friend's boyfriend was cheating on her or he belted her once, cos then it would prove my point, and cause her to WAKE THE FUCK UP.
Her life is a bit fucked up at the mo, cos her dad just died very suddenly, and she had to get back from Australia, and the boyfriend came over for the funeral and then went back to Australia a couple of days later.
(note: significant illustration of what a complete cunt he is. He turned up to her father's funeral in RIPPED FUCKING JEANS!!! Show us your respect there, mate)
So then yesterday he calls her and says hes not coming back to NZ, which is where she will be for quite some time, and pretty much broke up with her. Nice timing.
So the poor girl is a) totally gutted about losing her dad, b) stuck in this wintery old town with no job, no money, and lots of worries about mortgages and insurances and wills and stuff, c) missing her bastard of a boyfriend and so he picks this time to dump her.
The thing that fucks me off, despite the fact that I really want to give him The Bash for being a prick, is that for two and a half years I've been there while shes upset cos hes being a prick, and looking after her when they break up, and pretending to be happy for her when they get back together while saying "be careful, remember what happened last time when this happened (and the time before and before and before)" and now he finally breaks up with her and I really want to go around and grab her by the shoulders and shake her and yell "you have no idea that this is the best thing that has happened to you for fucking months and now you have a real opportunity to clear all the crap out of your life and start spending some time on you and your family and I can't believe you let it go on this long" while all the while knowing she has a need to be with someone at all times, and can't be single.
So yes. That is fucking me off.

Now things that aren't fucking me off.

Firstly, went to see Fat Freddie's Drop on Saturday, after falling out of the window at Nike's house, and now I have an ouchie on my knee :(

Secondly, I picked up my degree, and have the following to say...

...I AM THE MERITORIOUS MASTER!!!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again:
SUCK IT DOWN, NAYSAYERS!!!
Mmmm. Gloating.

Thirdly, it is Monday.
On Thursday I will be in New York.
Alert the authorities.