I can't let this go unsaid

I'd just like to extend an open invitation to all Americans who are clever and sensible and aware of the world and not bigoted and believe in peace and democracy and who abhor notions of imperialism and retaliation and hatred.
You can all come to NZ and stay at my house for the next four years.
Cos I really feel bad for you guys. I know that the entire free world is affected by the actions of your president, including our wee piece of paradise here at the bottom of the world, but at least we will not be judged by his actions. You poor fucks, I mean, I can really see a massive trade in t-shirts saying "Don't blame me! I didn't vote for him!".
I send out my heartfelt apologies to all intelligent decent Americans, that you have to live with monkey-boy there as your leader for another four years.
Our PM isn't exactly perfect, but hell, my nine-year old nephew has a more comprehensive understanding of international issues than Dufus W. And I'd bet my boots that hes better read.