Ways in Which I Feel Shitty

1)My tonsils are the size of golf balls. Really. I looked in the mirror this morning to get a glimpse of them, and recoiled in horror.
2)I have aches and pains in places where I didn't think I had pain receptors. Like internal organs. Can your kidneys get a cold?
3)The snot is coming. I can feel it.
4)My lungs weigh about 10kg each, but when I cough, I am possessed by the spirit of my late dog, and this horrific deathly bark comes out instead.
5)My whole family is out of town, therefore no parental or sibling sympathy.
6)My head is going Boom Boom, and not even Disprin Max is helping.
7)For some reason, I appear to be watching Home and Away. Oh dear.
8)Inside my ears is really sore.
9)I haven't done nearly enough work on my thesis this weekend.
10)I have that icky punched in the stomach kind of nausea, the kind that comes when you know theres a real stinker of a cold on its way, and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

Also, er is not on tonight. Suck.

To counter: Things that are cool
1) As of tomorrow, I have the house to myself.
2)My slippers rule.
3)Going to the supermarket for lemonade in said slippers, dodgy trackies and 10 year old hoodie.
4)Useless movie quotes.

4-10. Not too bad, considering.