Oh, The Horror

Something awful happened a couple of weeks ago.
It was so awful, in fact, that it has taken me a couple of weeks to come to terms with it sufficiently to be able to talk about it.
But some time has passed now, and I am really trying to accept the reality of the situation. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Theres no sense in this crazy world of ours.
Here we go.

At the tender age of 28 years, 3 months and 15 days, I found a grey hair (sob).
Yes, there was a grey hair growing on my formerly youthful head, trying to hang out there with all the normal coloured ones, trying to blend in, and hoping he wouldn't be noticed. Needless to say, I opened a can of whup-ass on the little fucker, and now he is but a memory.
So now I am excruciatingly aware that I am officially OLD, and am paying far too much attention to my hair. Next I'll be lamenting the state of today's youth and drinking sherry.

So last night, in a fit of whobloodyknows, I dyed my hair, and now it is RED. Not just red, mind you, but FUCKING RED!!!! Not so much fire-engine red, more like tamarillo red, with some streaky bits of the original strawberry blonde left on top, for a bit of variety. I also succeeded in dyeing my fingernails and scalp red, hopefully the red bits on my face will wear off before work tonight. Am off to the hairdresser in a few minutes to get the left-out bits lightened a wee bit, so they look less like an accident, and more like intentional streaks. And also to remove any trace of grey that may have slipped through.
Oh dear.
Its all such an effort, really.
If only I wasn't so vain, then I could just live with the grey.
But no.
Shit.