*Warning!!! BSG Spoiler Blog!!! Warning*

Much to my delight, the premiere episode of BSG last week turned out to be TWO episodes!!! I was so excited I did the dance of joy, right there on the couch at my friend's house!!!

But given that I have class soon, and must finish the readings for class and eat lunch before then, here we have the brief version of the ways in which BSG is still all that and a packet of chips.

Starbuck: so awesome its not funny, but possibly a bit off her rocker.
Apollo: FAT!!!!!
Admiral Adama: rocking the 'stache.
Colonel Tigh: gone completely off his rocker.
Ellen Tigh: the Town Bike.
Galactica Boomer (previously known as Caprica Boomer): married Helo.
New Caprica Boomer (previously known as Galactica Boomer before she shot Adama and got shot by Callie and downloaded into a new body): getting all sympathising with the humans
Helo: Galactica XO, even hotter than before. Quite possibly the uniform.
Chief Tyrol: hairy. Has a cute baby.
Callie: also has a baby. In fact, the same one. Is currently frolicking through the woods, and by frolicking I of course mean running for her dear life from the nasty Cylons.
Anders: has a nice new "I married Starbuck" tattoo.
Gaeta: Baltar's bitch, but also not.
Dualla: Mrs Apollo, but apparently the fat isn't contagious. Also possibly Pegasus XO.
Kat: Galactica CAG.
Number 6: still a saucy minx. Is now BFF with New Caprica Boomer.
Roslin: manages to be classy and staunch while in a Cylon prison with no shoes.
Leoben: trying to get Starbuck to fall in love with him by keeping her prisoner. Needless to say, she keeps killing him.
Cavil: Makes quotation marks in the air with his fingers whenever he talks about "God".
Aaron: Wanker.
D'Anna (now mostly known as Number 3): has great hair, still talks like the good Kiwi girl she is, likes killing people.
Baltar: President, drunk, wasted, likes hookers, is still cowardly and in love with Number 6.

Ummm.... I think thats all.
Ok bye.

Too hot for you!!!!
And soon to take on Small Town, USA.
Oh my.

Edit: I just randomly clicked on some archives, and have decided that my blog used to be more interesting than it is now.
Hang on, my life used to be a lot more interesting than it is now..... perhaps there's a connection.....*wanders off, looking thoughtful*

Better late than never

Blonde Claire
Love that flattering bathroom mirror light.....

Bang bang bang BOOM!!!!

Holy bang bang Batman, there is one hell of a fireworks display going on right now at the university. One of the doors in my house is shaking, the street lights up periodically, and there is some seriously loud noises resounding through the living room.

Note: I do not, in any way, live right next to the university where this cacophony is taking place, its about a 20 minute walk.

Perhaps it will wake the residents of the crackhouse a few blocks over from their drug induced slumber.

I know this much is true....

My girl Sarah is All That And A Packet Of Chips (tm). I was feeling a little emotionally fragile etc today so I called her and unbeknownst to either of us we were listening to the same cd at the same time, and both having similar potentially PMSing type days and feeling vulnerable etc even though we are on opposite ends of the world so we had a grand old chat and she said "love you longtime" and then everything was better.

Friday nights at home spent watching telly and playing on the intertron and cooking for your friend who stopped by briefly to borrow a computer powercord from your flatmate and ended up staying for nearly 3 hours are a lot more appealing than they used to be. I wonder if it is a sign of age or maturity that going out into town on a Friday night and consuming large amounts of booze now seems like far more like something to be endured than something to be enjoyed.

Its really only two months until I go home again which is awesome because its so soon, but also scary because I have to save up a rather large amount of money from now until then so I can get back here and there is an insane amount of work that must be done before then so I had best get moving on it.

If I were to travel almost exactly due south from here for ten thousand, six hundred and seventy kilometres, I would arrive in the city my sister lives in (I would have to travel ever so slightly east or would end up in the ocean off the west coast of Estrecho de Magallenes. And I don't fancy that).

In three weeks I will have a Special Visitor staying here for the weekend and that makes me happy. I may even do the Dance of Joy((tm) (c) Joss Whedon 2004).

I am a ginge no longer. After many hours of faffing about with hair products etc and far too much money spent on said products, I am now officially blonde. Photos will follow soon, I just have to let my hair recover from the torture it received in the blonding process.

Its been a hundred years at least, but the Manic Street Preachers track "Motorcycle Emptiness" is still fucking awesome.

Ok thats about all the truth you can handle for now.

Makes no sense at all....

I'm doing it again.
Its 12.45am, and I'm still at the computer, having finally finished all my work for the evening, admittedly some of that work was done while eating my dinner and watching Lost and CSI NY (for God's sakes Danny would you just plant one on her!!!) ...anyway.
What was my point?
Its late, I should be in bed, I have classes tomorrow for seven and a half hours straight, yet all I want to do is play on the internerds!

Have you heard of fanfiction.net? Its spooky stuff, yet oddly engrossing. People spend hours of their lives writing fiction about fictional characters they didn't create, its all a bit new for me.

Today my flatmate of last year defended her dissertation and got a full pass with distinction: ie the best mark one can get, not a single rewrite to be done, thats all she wrote, goodnight and good luck take care now bye bye.
She's very clever.
Got me thinking though, I should perhaps be spending more time building up a portfolio of work.... dissertation proposal, articles to be published etc. I have many ideas floating around in my head, and a few more scribbled on random pieces of paper all over the place. Surely I can squeeze in a few hours to turn one of them into a few thousand words of publishable quality? Maybe if I spent less time fannying about on the internet......
I have many things to say about the world and what needs fixing, and all the things people should be paying attention to. Its just the effort.....oh lord the effort.

Which is ridiculous because when I actually get up off my fat arse and make an effort and do something I am so chuffed with the results and Actually Having Achieved Something I think to myself "hey Claire, that was awesome, you should do that more" and then I get all distracted by the shiny pretty things like the telly and the books and the sleep.........
Mmmm, the sleep.

Also, its entirely possible that today, in the absence of anyone else who lives here having a say, I decided that we would be having a Halloween party, and even maybe featuring Special Guests.

Ok this post sucks, I'm going to bed. Soon.

On this day, 42 years ago......

Happy birthday Clive. Phwoar.

Because a change is apparently as good as a holiday....

Here I present to you....The Before Shot.
Updates as they come to hand.

Dorky McDorkster of Dorksville, New York

Last night, in a flash of brilliance, I decided upon my Halloween costume.
Now I have a month to lose about 35 pounds....she says, while munching on a delicious lunch of paneer and pilau....

Sunday all of my demons rest....






Felix is Lord of All He Doth Survey, while Cat Dooku likes to help me read my methods homework and look cute.

Two things*....

Firstly, I can't go to Toronto this weekend thanks to circumstance, finance and some other ances.
Poos and wease, but hey. We have survived far worse things than this, although the prospect of a dodgeball tournament is rather appealing.
The plus side is however, that my beloved Holly is going away for the weekend so I will be looking after Felix and Cat Dooku the mega-kitties, so cute kitty photos will likely appear in the near future.

Secondly, yesterday I bought quite possibly the coolest sheet of stamps EVER!!, as you can probably see.

Thirdly, I am still in my jammies at 3.30pm.

* And by two I of course mean three

Driving away from the wreck of the day and the lights always red in the rear view

I have just watched the final of Grey's Anatomy yes I know its old news but its the only chance I've had to see it. And when I say "just" I mean it finished 40 minutes ago, and I still can't get a hold of myself.
I knew what was going to happen and I had prepared myself for it, but this was a whole unexpected level of effect, it hit me far below the standard sad television finale level, this one hit me way deep in levels I haven't been to for a long time, deep dark parts of my brain where my childhood memories reside and where I keep the knowledge of the names of colours and down deep in my emotional core do you want to call it my heart? Where I remember what it was like to finally kiss the man I was in love with when I was 23 and where I keep the smell of my baby niece's hair and the sound of my four-years-gone dog's bark.
I have spent the twenty minutes in the shower, sitting on the floor hugging my knees and sobbing, letting the water wash over me in the hope it will in some way pull me together but that didn't work and so I tried to figure out why it was that I was so affected by a TV programme, whose ending I already knew.

I miss human touch.
I hate to stand in queues because I feel the people in front and behind me are imposing on my personal space, and I have been known to shout at people in bars who touch me, even when the bar is full. I hate being touched, in short. I am very protective of my personal space and get VERY antsy when its invaded.

Yet still, the more I think about it, the one thing I absolutely crave is the touch of someone who loves me.
I'm not talking about sex necessarily, I am so accustomed to living without that I think that part of my brain has ceased to work. What I mean is simple human contact with people who love me. A hug from my Dad, one of the kids sitting on my knee, the way my mum will always try to fix my permanently messy hair. When I'm at home I don't really notice my single status, but in the last couple of weeks I've really noticed it.
When I was away in the cabin last weekend, my friend was there with his girlfriend. While we were sitting around the fire after dinner, she had her foot sitting on his knee, and he was absentmindedly playing with it.
When I saw it, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

I think it was a similar thing that hit me about Grey's Anatomy tonight. Izzy and Denny to be specific. She loved him, he loved her, it was simple and true and she potentially sacrified her career to save his life, and then he died. I can see the image in my head, of Izzy in her pink frock lying on the bed with Denny, and it sets me off again.
Maybe I'm lonely, I don't know. I always thought I had moved beyond that, at my age one would hope that I had, but perhaps I was wrong.
Perhaps I am so deeply affected by a television programme because I am desperately in need of some human company beyond school.
Perhaps I need to be discussing this over martinis with my girlfriends instead of in a blog.
But right now all I can say is that I would give almost anything to wake up to someone who loves me.

I shouldn't have to post a warning here, the fact that I am putting these uncharacteristically honest words out there should be sufficient caution to not make smart arsed comments about offering to shag me or accusations of being emo or the fact its just a freaking television programme.
The words are out of my head now and so I can sleep. Thats all I hoped for.

AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

News just to hand: television is evil.
Tonight at 10pm is last season's finale of Grey's Anatomy on ABC. The season finale that I didn't see here because I was in NZ, and didn't see in NZ because it played the week after I got back here.
AT THE SAME TIME on CBS is the new season premiere of CSI: NY, which I am not ashamed to say, I freaking love.

Now a normal person would record one and watch the other, right? But given that I don't have any of this poncy flash tivo nonsense, in fact I barely have a functioning television, I am unable to do that.

fuckarseshitcuntybollockstitwankfuckityfucksticksbuggeration.

I would be so screwed if I ever had to make a real decision in my life.

You wanna win a war? Like PLO don't surrender

In a display of utter geekery, Claire reveals concern that one of her professors doesn't think shes all that and a packet of crisps.

IT WORRIES ME, OKAY!!!!

We all go on about how we couldn't give a flying fuck if some cunt we don't care about doesn't like us, but I want all my profs to love me! Its important that they love me, because when it comes to marking my work, and its late at night, and they have already graded ten papers, and they get to mine, I don't want them to think "Ah, fuck her, shes loud and annoying and I'm tired and bored she can have a B-" I want them to think "Oh, she's so funny and clever and cute, heres an A".
Note: yes I am aware that I have to do work of an appreciable standard to get the As. I want the love too.

AND THEN...... instead of doing the readings for Thursday's class in keeping with the aforementioned appreciable standard of work, Claire settles back in her chair to watch Battlestar Galactica.

Put your clock back for the winter...

POST NUMBER 500 MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!


And so to celebrate, here is me with horns. This pic is weird because I undid the red-eye thing and it made my eyes go strange they're actually blue but you can't tell from that picture I had to share that with you because I am so vain.
We are also celebrating something else today: the fact that I didn't get eaten by bears in the woods. Yippee.

Ithaca is SO much nicer than this shithole town, so I think I might move there.

Dear Cornell University
Your town is so much nicer than Syracuse, I would like to live there in one of those cute little houses up on the hill. Therefore, please give me a scholarship equivalent to the one I have now, although about 50% more would be nice too. I promise to work really hard and be a very good student and not shag any professors.
Cheers.
Smoochies, Claire

We went to a cabin about 20 minutes south of Ithaca, built by a former Zoology professor, who evidently rejoiced in the glory of his chosen field by shooting animals and putting their heads up on the wall. It was a very lovely room of death. Much fun was had however, despite the all pervading stench of gratuitious death.

Ok so I think I will go to Toronto next weekend for Blodgeball because I am a gigantic dork and don't have any real life friends outside of the internets also, way to get out of the US at the first available opportunity I love Canada I know they don't play cricket but they're still like one of us because they have the Queen on their money also I have visions of snogging a mountie.
Also, the idea of hitting people with balls appeals to me greatly. Maybe I should take a bag of wrenches for practice?
All I need now is a ride there and a place to stay.

Go craigslist

Look out bears

Going to get in a car in half an hour and go to a cabin in the mountains for the night to get eaten by bears.
A bunch of students in the mountains overnight....sounds like the perfect setting for a horror film.

Play nicely while I'm gone.

Don't you just hate it when....

....you're sitting in class talking about something completely un-sexy and all of a sudden out of the blue all random styles have I emphasised the unexpectedness of it all sufficiently a really filthy thought crosses your mind and while it does surprise you somewhat especially with the previously emphasised random nature of it its also kind of a nice surprise cos you've got all these lovely filthy thoughts swimming around in your head and they make you feel all delicious and dirty in a good way but you also have to deal with the fact that these thoughts have about twenty seconds to get the fuck out of your head because you have to talk sensibly and informedly about stuff that is about as unsexy as a really unsexy thing and its late and I can't think of a sufficiently unsexy thing that does justice to the unsexiness of the subject matter without casting aspersions upon the inherent value of discussing said subject matter anyway my point is don't you hate it when these things jump into your head at just the wrong moment and you have to focus on something else completely when what would be really nice is to be left alone with your lovely thoughts but maybe thats the point life as I continue to find never ceases to be interesting what with its random thoughts and all the other stuff ok going to watch dvds now goodnight.

ps maybe i will go to Toronto next weekend....

Flick Her

I have a Flickr account. I have yet to put a link on this here blog, or figure out all the flash bloggy flickry stuff that goes with it, but I'm sure you can figure out. Just search Flickr for people with the same name as me. My first two names, anyway.

Ok time for bed.
Smoochies.

Local boy, neighbourhood, easy as the breeze in springtime, he don't talk too much. When he does the whole room gets luminous

I have just had a moment of sheer brilliance!!.....actually its a fairly average idea, but any idea after midnight that is neither drink nor drug fuelled is a rarity.

I am doing a course on politics of the developing world, and its really interesting, and the major requirement is a final research/reflection paper, focusing on a particular paradigm or concept that we have discussed in class. Paradigms and concepts to be discussed include modernity, colonialism, post-colonialism, Westernisation, development, development as Westernisation, political economies of development and globalisation, and the import and export of political models.

Soooo....here is my idea. Seeing as how I will be reading all this really interesting stuff, and get to choose the topic for my final paper, and will have to write it anyway....

HELLO DISSERTATION PROPOSAL!!!!!!

Is that allowed? *crosses fingers*

"Smell is a potent wizard that transports across thousands of miles and all the years we have lived"

There is something stinky in my room.
No Tim, its not my feet.
Unless my feet all of a sudden smell like a mixture of red curry powder, cumin, cayenne, nutmeg, garam marsala and possibly star anise, that have been dryfried and left a little bit too long in the pan.
Its one of those annoying smells that tickles the back of one's throat, and is really starting to do my loaf.

So, now I am about to turn my room upside town in an attempt to find it, and destroy!!!
Updates likely to follow.

"Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more"

Dreadful news!!!!
There has been a tragic death in the family!!!!

I got a rather upsetting text from my sister last night which delivered the bad news..... after many years of faithful service and despite the best in medical attention, my sister's cretaceous-era desktop computer has finally died.

Gone the way of the dodo.
Deader than a dead thing two weeks after the funeral.
Partying beyond the Pearly Gates with Dudley Moore and Allen Ginsberg.
Exhibiting as much life as the front row of a Genesis concert.
Ceased to be.
Expired and gone to meet its maker.
Kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.
Bereft of life, it rests in piece....

Ok so its only a computer, but thanks to the wonders of Skype it was also the easiest way to talk to her and her kids, plus talking computer to computer is free, and given that I am as poor as a church mouse whose just received a huge tax bill the day after his wife ran off with another mouse and took all the cheese....(heehee three guesses as to what I've been watching), free stuff is about all thats within my budget.

So we say PANTS to that, and cross our fingers that some nice person will buy my lovely sister a lovely new computer very soon.

P.S. Little Miss Sunshine is freaking awesome and thoroughly gorgeous and we loves it so the three of you who have yet to see it GO NOW!!!
P.P.S Oh what a lot of links.

SNOOCHIES!!!!!

I am so fucking tired, I can't understand it.
For the last few days I've had this ouchie type pain on my right side, and my nurse-in-training flatmate says there is a big ol' muscle that goes from beneath one's shoulderblades round the ribcage kind of area, sort of holds everything together as it were. Anyway, this ouchie pain in my side is probably a muscle type thing, and in lieu of a deep tissue massage, I had a muscle relaxant.
Not that I normally have serious dopey type drugs hanging around the house but, I got these from the doc last year cos of back pain from being wonky and all, and HOLY FLOPPY BUNNY EARS BATMAN they do tend to knock one out a little.
And now its 6.44pm and I still feel all dozy.
Is this what relaxed people feel like all the time? All weird and....floppy.

And, the other news is that we have been preliminary, albeit grudging, landlord approval for our adoption plans.

Ok bye.

ShitFuckArseTwatBollocksTitWankCuntyPissBuggeryFucksticks

Is currently 11.06pm.
In 12 hours I need to be in class for an hour and a half, followed by three hours of class, followed by 3 hours of class.

I haven't done readings for class #1, but its ok cos I'm the TA and have 3 degrees and a graduate diploma so am well experienced in Making Shit Up.

In class #2 I am doing a 25 minute presentation on metageographical concepts as discourses of power. So far I have done the reading and written 3 pages of wank that I plan on delivering, peppered with anecdotes about how I am awesome.

Class #3 requires one to submit notes on the readings "the day before" class. That would mean today. I am thus far operating on the standard "If I haven't been to bed then its still the same day" m.o.
The readings, incidentally, are 232 pages of democratic theory, 14 pages of something I haven't read yet, and 17 pages of something else I haven't read either, although the latter is by Dahl, and in my experience he repeats himself a lot, so maybe I can get it down to 3 or 4 pages.

And so why am I blogging about it instead of sucking it up and doing the work?
Ummm.....

A happy day for crocodiles everywhere....

Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter is dead

All those years chasing crocs, and he gets done in by a stingray.....poor bastard.
RIP Crocodile Hunter.

My Dad is convinced crocs the world over will be mightily pissed off they didn't get the last word in but....

At least one of my dreams is coming true....

Viggo is coming to a city near you!!!
If, of course, by "city" I mean "small town" and by "you" I mean "me".

Booya.

These mishaps you bubble wrap when you've no idea what you're like

Again, the Emmys disappoint....

....blah blah...shit television wins....blah blah...glorifying reactionary politics and institutionalised violence....blah blah....perpetrating the idea that women are to be judged firstly on appearance, secondly on talent....blah blah....

Hey if I really hated it that much you think I would have turned the telly off, but no.
The highlight was Hugh Laurie co-presenting an award with Helen Mirren, and speaking entirely in French.
The lowlight was the rest of it.

I felt an obligation to waste time on my last evening before school began....yes tomorrow the madness begins....shit.

So, due to the radiation exposure and brain-atrophy I experienced while watching said crap awards show, I am unable to come up with anything really interesting to say, nor do I really have the motivation to process the random sound-byte-like thoughts that are swirling around my head. So here are some pictures from NZ, to prove once and for all, how good it really is to be me (aside from the whole brain-not-working thing of course....)

The view from the front porch at our house in Wanaka

The view from my bedroom at Wanaka. Yes, MY FREAKING BEDROOM!!!!!!!

Stephenson's Arm, Lake Wanaka

Pegasus Bay winery and restaurant, about half an hour north of Christchurch, and home to the finest Merlot on this earth.

Swing Bridge, Kaitoke National Park (Rivendell), Wellington.

Also, because of the excessive BBQing I have been partaking in over the last few days, as a result of being seconded to another department for the coming year and generally being social, I have been thoroughly munched upon by mosquitoes. I have no calamine lotion in the house, and my flatmate's partner said that vinegar does the trick nicely, in terms of stopping the itching.
The result, considerably less bite-related aggravation, but I smell like a London chip shop. Mmmmm. Delicious.
And with that lovely mental image, I shall depart to bed.

Stones taught me to fly

Brief update in manner of person with insufficient sleep reserves....

Luggage has been found, will apparently be delivered before 11pm. Note: is currently 11.23pm.

Have almost completed shifting from old bedroom (SO 2005!!) to new bedroom (much cooler, literally) after beginning at 8am.

Cellphone run out of credit, apologies for not returning/sending texts.

I got interviewed in LA. Here it is.

Am gagging for a shower..... back tomorrow.

I love Los Angeles
Also, Ryan Seacrest has a star on the Hollywood walk of fame. The earth is doomed.

LA LA Land....

I'm in LA with Sunshine.
Its still Thursday, and its been Thursday for about....ummm.....attempts calculations in poorly functioning brain....
Ok so I landed in LA nearly 4 hours ago, and before that I was on a plane for twelve hours, and when I got on the plane it was 6.45pm..... still can't work it out....

A FREAKING LONG TIME, OK????

Going to see some motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane tonight.

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk in your trunk

Today I am going back to Merika.
I have to pack a whole bunch of stuff into my suitcases, in doing so defying the laws of physics in the manner of the Tardis or similar.
I also have to fly to Auckland for two hours, then sit on a plane for TWELVE HOURS to LA and by the time I get there it will be four hours before I leave Christchurch. That does one's head in a little.
So, this is probably my last post from Aotearoa for a while, at least until I get back on the 20th of December.
See you on the other side... unless my plane explodes.

Look out California.

We'll be here next Saturday, with our guns and our heads held high....

I am sure I have forgotten someone. I just sent a few texts out inviting people to come and have dinner with me on Wednesday to celebrate my imminent departure and it is entirely possible that I have forgotten someone REALLY important and have just made an enemy.
Of course, I have only texted people who will be in Christchurch on Wednesday. I is clever, you see.
So, my point is that if I like you and you are in Chc on Wednesday night come to the Flying Burrito Brothers. Or not, whatever.

Today I bought swimming togs because being the demented retard that I am I left mine in the great state of Zoo York, and I tried on this pair and was making faces in the mirror and my mum said "What do you not like about them?" and I said "THE GIGANTIC FAT BODY THATS IN THESE TOGS!!!"
I am so fat, cars swerve to miss me and run out of petrol.
I am so fat when I go to the movies, I sit next to everyone.
I am so fat, I have my own gravitational pull.

Whoever said "May you live in interesting times" was referring to me and mine, because life is interesting and rarely ceases to be so. Today, perhaps as a result of all the interesting combined with some tired and some hormones and some Holy-mother-of-God I am so fucking sick of the rain-itis I was in a big sad, and was completely miserable and my skin had worn too thin. I went home and said to my dad "I am grumpy and foul" and he suggested a wee lie-down, which did the trick nicely, and while I am not exactly a gigantic ball of fluffy kitten-like sunlight, I am no longer radiating black clouds of doom and despair. Jolly good news.

And finally, I am beginning a rather short and completely un-campaign-like campaign to get our dear Sunshine to come and see The Living End at the House of Blues on Sunset Strip this Friday. The Living End are awesome and doth indeed rock, and I am possessed with an inexplicable urge to leap around like a fool and shout WE-E-E-EST E-E-E-END RIOT!!!!

And that will be all for now, except for the fact that terrorists are complete twunts and I am no longer allowed my handcream on the plane, and am therefore unlikely to be allowed to carry several bottles of duty-free 42 Below Feijoa vodka to sustain me through the harsh winter months to come and will be forced to drink inferior non-tropical fruit flavoured drinks and shall become bitter and die withered and alone surrounded by cut-out pictures of beaches and delicious fruit.

I just tried to post pictures....

But Blogger is being a dick.
And now I'm off to Wanaka with me Dad.
Photos to follow.
I hope the rain stops soon.
Bye.

Five things: tagged by my LA girl

Five things in the freezer
1) Aloo paranthas
2) Frozen spinach
3) Vodka
4) Hash browns
5) Caramel fudge ice cream

Five things in my closet
1) Chocolate brown leather knee high Tommy Hilfiger boots (as pictured....sigh....)
2) Sleeping bag
3) Turkish cashmere pashmina shawl
4) Some dust and fluff and lint and maybe a few spiders
5) A gigantic red suitcase

Five things in my car
1) A catalogue for ride-on lawn mowers
2) Black high heeled shoes
3) Dog hair
4) A cd tape adapter
5) The memory of petrol (at $1.72 a litre, thats all it gets)

Five things in my backpack
1) Hairclip
2) Swiss Army knife
3) passport photos
4) Chewing gum
5) An African copper and brass bracelet

I tag Heather, Raspberry, Michelle, Tara and Zach Braff. Cos why the hell not, aye?
This DOES NOT however, mean that I am giving up on the previous post.

Also, in 2 weeks I am going to LA.
Come and drink with us.
But only for a little while, because Sunshine and I are going to drink margaritas and paint our nails and talk about boys and have some quality girl time*.

*In a thoroughly wholesome, fully clothed and not remotely filthy way, get your mind out of your knickers please you filthy potty minded sod.

Ok, here we go. Its dorky meme game time

Here we have the first line of 25 songs that popped up on my iTunes today.
The game is trying to name the song and artist, WITHOUT USING A SEARCH ENGINE!!! (or similar cheaty thing....ie using anything but your brain)
Not a one of them is NZ music, because I didn't think that would be fair to the Americans/Canadians/Australians/other non-Kiwis.

1) I wanted to buy you shiny red things, thought I’d be with you all til the end

2) The walls you build up, stone by stone

3) It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why babe, it don’t matter anyhow
#3 is "Don't think twice, it's alright" by Bob Dylan
harvestbird | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 8:58 pm | #

4) I want your soul, I’ll eat your soul
#4 has gotta be the Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy..
fishboy | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 9:42 pm | #

5) Oh, can’t anybody see? We’ve got a war to fight, never found our way, regardless of what they say
And 8 is Roads by Portishead
bridge | 07.31.06 - 9:02 pm | #
Oops I meant #5 is Roads
bridge | 07.31.06 - 9:03 pm | #

6) I’m a black rainbow, I’m an ape of God
6 is Marilyn Manson, "Disposable Teens"
Hest | Homepage | 08.01.06 - 7:46 am | #

7) I found her on a night of fire and noise, wild bells rang in a wild sky
#7 is Do You Love Me by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
bridge | 07.31.06 - 9:00 pm | #
#7 is "Do You Love Me" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
harvestbird | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 8:58 pm | #

8) I’m gonna pull you in close, gonna wrap you up tight, gonna play with the braids you came with tonight
Isn't #8 Interpol? Ummm.. Obstacle II?
fishboy | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 9:43 pm | #

9) Words like violence, break the silence, come crashing in, into my little world
#9 is Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode.
Sunshine | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 3:47 pm | #

10) 2am and she calls me cos I’m still awake, can you help me unravel my latest mistake, I don’t love him, winter just wasn’t my season
#10 is Breathe by Anna Nalick
Angela | Homepage | 08.01.06 - 4:05 pm | #

11) I got the understanding of a four year old, I’ve got the peace of mind of a killer soul
Also 11 was on the Spawn soundtrack and it's called "Trip Like I Do" or something. Can't remember the artist right now.
J reminded me it was Filter and Crystal Method.
Hest | Homepage | 08.01.06 - 7:53 am | #

12) I can't stand it I know you planned it, but I'm gonna set it straight, this Watergate
Ok I'm going with Sabotage by the Beasties for 12.
PS I'm in Paris! They drive like fucking lunatics here..
fishboy | Homepage | 08.02.06 - 12:01 pm | #

13) Stayed true to the things I knew when I was younger, and food and love was all but left to hunger

14) The gold road's sure a long road, winds on through the hills for fifteen days. The pack on my back is aching, the straps seem to cut me like a knife
#14 is the Stone Roses - Fool's Gold
fishboy | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 9:44 pm | #

15) I’ve come a long, long way since the day you walked into my life

16) I called you brazen, called you whore right to your face, and watched you silently and publicly disgraced

17) You're all that I have and you're all that I need, Each and every day I pray to get to know you please

18) You look like a perfect fit, for a girl in need of a tourniquet
#18 is "Save Me" by Aimee Mann.
harvestbird | Homepage | 07.31.06 - 8:58 pm | #

19) Geeks do not have pedigrees or perfect punk rock resumes or anorexic magazines it smells like girl it smells like girl

20) Ladies, gentlemen, somebody ring the alarm, there’s a fire in the room
#20 is a personal favourite, Dirrty by Christina Aguilera
Angela | Homepage | 08.01.06 - 4:05 pm | #

21) Maybe I don’t really wanna know how your garden grows

22) He must smoke spum dames by our lay, Charge are we nicks he'll needs our first very edge, Now beautiful I'll tell my mind, Cloud mannered a lot

23) it's bugging me, grating me, and twisting me around, yeah I'm endlessly caving in, and turning inside out

24) Good times for a change, see the luck I’ve had, can make a good man turn bad

25) Once the dogs have quit their barking, Son; my neighbour said to me; Know the emptiness of talking blue, the same old sheep

Let the games begin....

12 down, 13 to go.
So far the winner is fishboy, with 3 correct answers.

We can do better than this though. I can't believe no ones got number 12 yet!

In three weeks I'll be in L.A. I hope its cooled down a bit.

Underwear notwithstanding, and as long as I am not wearing my jersey, I am not wearing any black clothes today. Even my shoes are blue.
I can't actually remember the last time this happened.

Also, I am working on a really lame post, the idea for which I flogged off littleredboat.co.uk

Ok bye.

One day we'll all be old and I'll be so damn beautiful

Oh dear it appears I have come down with several malaises simultaneously. Firstly we have writers block, followed by a hardy case of the sleepies, combined with a sturdy helping of "can't be fucked-itis". Also, the dreaded 3 month neck-related headache is back. I took some drugs that my nice doctor gave me, and they seem to be doing the trick, although they may explain the sleepiness.
I was going to do loads of work in the next hour and a half before I go out, but perhaps I will lie on my bed and watch Firefly instead.

Actually what I really need is a drink. Is that bad?

Rock is dead

I can't believe I didn't get any comments on that last post, it was HI-LARIOUS!!
You are without humour and that hits me in my sad place.

But here's something to cheer you up a little....
The other day I made the mistake of weighing myself, given that I have done very little since I got home other than eat and drink. Now, I have never been stick thin, and I would rather eat my own eyeballs than be one of those obsessively thin boring people, because quite frankly life without blue cheese and merlot is not a life worth living...anyway.
I was curious, because my black trousers have mysteriously shrunk a little...and lo and behold.
In the last 2 months I have gained a whopping FOUR KILOS!!!! Thats a not-entirely-unimpressive EIGHT POINT EIGHT POUNDS!!!!

What a fat cow.
When I get on the plane to go back to America I will get charged excess baggage for my arse.
Lovely. Seeing as how I have taken an oath to never ever diet or give up wine, I find myself exercising. Today I went for a brisk walk (in the lovely winter sun, btw, which was a bit smashing) forgetting of course that directly after work I am going out for dinner and will therefore possibly pong a bit....*hurriedly texts her sister saying please bring spray on deodorant so the rest of the table doesn't asphyxiate themselves in their fettucine by way of avoiding my stinkiness*....

But as it turns out, a brisk half hour walk in the afternoon actually makes one feel all sorts of energetic and perky.
I may well continue doing it.

Now I'm sure I had all sorts of exciting things to report about how fascinating I am and how my life is one continuous celebration of awesomeness, but I'm buggered if I can remember them....

I think my sidebar needs updating....who should I link?

Also, I'M STILL FUCKING WAITING FOR MY NEW TEMPLATE!!!!!

A letter from the British Home Office to the People of America

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise".
You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed".
There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires", e.g., Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play
proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2010. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
The Russians have never been the bad guys.
"Merde" is French for "shit".
You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler.
Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian, though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation.

I Am Writing This Post On My Cellphone Lying In Bed Because I Can. Shiny. I Can't Figure Out Why Each New Word Must Start With A Capital But Maybe I Could Read The Instructions. Ok Sweet Dreams.

How can we dance when our earth is turning?....

Yep...so....what's up?

I went to Wellington and drank margaritas with H and B.
I won a phone that is allegedly worth $600.
I feel like arse because I think I'm getting a wee cold.
I bought 3 cds.

And now I'm going home.

In one month I will be in LA. Then....back to the salt mines.
Lovely.

244001991, 2440, 0, Iran, Iran, Muhajadeen Khalq, 3, 13/08/1971, 1991

News just to hand......
Deleting lines of information in Excel files to avoid replicating data because the powers that be decided it would be a good idea to code each year of continued conflict as a separate incident and thus make my life more difficult because one's boss is asking for half a dozen tables to put in the chapter that we wrote and all the information is buried somewhere within this massive data set that as I said has each year of conflict coded as a separate incident who the fuck thought that was a good idea anyway my point is deleting line upon line of information in Excel files is EXTREMELY FUCKING TEDIOUS!!!!
I COULD HAVE BEEN AT THE HYDROSLIDE!!!!

What was the sky like when you were young?

The other night I had a dream that I was pregnant and CSI Warrick Brown (phwoar!) was my baby daddy, but for some reason unknown to me, I had no recollection of actually making the beast with two backs with him, so I felt a bit ripped off. There was no implication of any shady roofie-related action, it was all above board, but I knew I would be having his baby.
Psychoanalyse that!!

Last night's dreams were too horrible to be retold here, but its been a good few months since I've woken up screaming. Maybe that means I've finally beaten my demons. Or perhaps they're just regrouping to make another attack. Cheeky fuckers.

Have to fill out a grant application now.
"Dear Nice People. Please give me an embarrasingly large stack of money. I deserve it because I am awesome. Love Claire"

Wish me luck. And someone please make me a lovely new template, preferably in red and black. Cheers.

Some sage-like wisdom for a Tuesday.

Do not follow me, for I may not lead.
Do not lead me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, for the path is narrow.
In fact, just fuck off and leave me alone.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to AA meetings.

Ahhh......Monday morning hangovers! This is the life.
So I was all set to achieve great things yesterday, until my sister handed me my first glass of champagne at approximately 2pm. I was half cut by 3.30....most of the day is a blur. There were lots of little children running around, I remember that. I also remember having a wee nap on the sofa and waking up to discover I had missed CSI. Oops, good thing I'd seen it already!
Felt a bit bloody crook this morning, managed to haul my fat arse out of bed a little after 9am, only cos I remembered that Angel was on Sky 1, so I got my Buffyverse fix for the morning.

Of course, a day's drinking was just what I needed, after a wee few wines at the rugby on Saturday night. There's really nothing quite like watching the mighty All Blacks give those Aussies the bitch-slapping they so richly deserved......Bring on the rest of the TriNations so we can kick the South Africans too!!! The new haka is a bit cool too, as much as I loved the Ka Mate one this new Kapa O Pango achieves the same effect: scaring the shite out of the opposition and giving all New Zealanders goosebumps.

If anyone interesting has plans to be in LA in August, from the 17th to the 21st, come and have a drink with Sunshine and I. I'm sure she has much debauchery planned.

There is nothing much going on this weekend so I think I'll go to Wellington. Booya.

The Art of War, Lesson One: Know your enemy

Ok check out this woman in the photo with the handsome man.
Yes, she's very pretty, and she has a nice frock, and I'm sure she's a very nice person.

But.....

Does she come from a good South Island family?
Does she have a double major Bachelor's degree, an Honours degree, a Graduate Diploma of Arts (with distinction), and a Master's degree in Political Science (with merit)?
Does she have a 3.7 GPA at a top social science school in New York?
Does her family have a very nice house with a spa in Wanaka?
Does she have ridiculously long legs?
Did she spend a summer in the Greek Islands doing nothing much aside from drinking and bungy jumping?
In about 4 years, will she be the proud owner of a shiny new PhD?
Can she tie a knot in a cherry stalk with her tongue?
Does she have pretty, albeit unmanageable red curls?
Is she a fantastically good cook?
Does she have the scrummiest chocolate brown knee high leather boots in the world?
Can she scratch her forehead with her big toe?
Can she talk informedly for long periods about the hegemonic discourses of development and colonialism, or the implications for political economy of modes of production?
Does her Daddy have a plane?

So nya nya pretty lady who is dating Nathan Fillion, you may have a gorgeous and much coveted boyfriend, but I have all these other cool things as well, many of which I am sure you do not have, and I am going to keep repeating them to myself until I feel better about you stealing my imaginary boyfriend.

And now an update from our celeb-stalking news desk....

Anyone fancy a trip to California, say Decemberish?
Maybe around the 8th-10th?
Maybe do a little conventioning?
Stalk some nice Canadians?
Ok?
See you then, fan-geeks!
I'll be the tall red-head being dragged out by security.

Cause you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cable, and life's like an hourglass glued to the table, no one can find the rewind button now

Its been a week since my last blog, and thirty years since my last confession.
I am in a weird mood, more so than usual. Perhaps its because my sister and I got drunk last night and I always feel a little quiet after a skinful of sauvignon blanc...maybe its because I've been listening to that lovely Anna Nalick song that was on Grey's Anatomy and its so sad and truthful and beautiful and now I'm listening to Damien Rice and yesterday it was all about James Blunt....perhaps its because life never ceases to be interesting...or perhaps its because my rice wafers are all broken (Note: that is not a metaphor for some deep seated psychological trauma, the rice wafers are actually broken).

The good news is, I am now the proud owner of the following DVDs: the complete Firefly, the complete Black Books, Serenity, Labyrinth and Pi.
All I need now is Blackadder, the Young Ones, the complete X Files, Buffy, Angel, The West Wing and M*A*S*H, and I need never achieve anything again!!! Also, a telly would be good. I'll put that on the shopping list too, as well as a remote control for the DVD player so we have more options than stop and start.

I am going to the travel agent in an hour to get my tickets back to NY.
I wonder where I will end up? I want to be here, to live in the same city as my family, and in this country which is by far the greatest in the world, I want my children to grow up here, but I don't know how to do that. If I plan on acheiving my ambitions it will be many years before I can live here, buy a house and get myself all settled. Even if I end up teaching at a university, my options are few. There are only 4 universities in NZ that I would work at, and I wouldn't live in Australia again.
It feels a bit like I will have to choose between two types of life. I should be grateful I have the option really.
Ok enough of this shit.
Here's a picture.

Why drive when you can fly?

Aha, I'm only flying because the freaking roads are closed, and because my Dad is an angel and didn't want me to miss the conference in Dunedin this weekend, so in a few hours I will be off to cold snowy Dunedin for a weekend of drinking, partying and the politics of sport in a globalising world. Fun.

Umm....I miss my friends in NY, its cold here but still good to be home, am not working as much as I should, and I broke my niece's arm*.

*It was totally an accident and not remotely my fault, it was only a tiny wee greenstick fracture, she doesn't even need a bandage let alone a cast, everybody knows it was not my fault I only picked her up like I have done a thousand times before and she doesn't seem to mind at all she still loves me and was standing on her hands last night so it can't hurt that much at all.....none of which distracts sufficiently from the fact that I BROKE ROSIE!!!
Am currently awaiting a call from CYPS who will likely arrest me, lock me up in a special Bad Auntie prison and throw away the key.

There's no place that I can't be....

Aha, here is my official coming out party....I AM A GIGANTIC NERD!!!!

And I am going to marry this man and have lovely little Canadian/NZ babies.
Sorry Hesty.

In other news, I went horseriding yesterday with my niece, and I have a remarkably sore arse today.

Ok bye.

I'll take you over...

Here is the next month:
June 23rd-26th: Dunedin
July 4th-7th: Auckland (well Whangaparoa to be exact...or maybe Orewa....)
July 14th-17th: Wellington

Also to do: Wanaka, and possibly Mount Hutt.

In the last five weeks I have been in:
Syracuse, New York
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Phoenix, Arizona
Los Angeles, California
Auckland
Dunedin
Wanaka
Queenstown
Arrowtown

Such a busy wee bee....it turns out that three months really isn't that long when you're at home and have many things to do and lots of people to see and then end up working as well....
Its a good thing I'm stopping off in LA for a wee holiday on my way back isn't it?

In other news.... life is good. The usual dramas and worries of course, but all is well.
How are you all doing?

Listening on the misty frequencies....

Last night we had a BBQ. It was an unseasonably mild evening, and there was a brand new BBQ to christen. Much fun was had....

This morning, after a night of thumping rain, we awoke to snow. It keeps coming, and in a town that is not equipped to deal with snow, it makes for an interesting sight, and a quiet political science department!

So now I'm stuck at work, waiting for my Dad to come and pick me up in the Land Rover because the road up the hill to my sister's house where I live is closed to pretty much everyone except people in Land Rovers.

One thing about living in NZ: unpredictability. You don't like the weather? Wait 20 minutes!
Never a dull moment.

Fuck

I had a root canal this morning....and the anaesthetic just wore off.

Ouch.

I just had a hot bath and now am all scrummy
Ah, the sheer joy of dial up!!!
I tried to email a photo to someone last night, and ended up having to give up because the combination of a dial up connection and 5 mega pixel photos was all a bit much.

So....I wonder if I have any blog friends left after my recent erratic presence on the internets.

Let's see, aye?

Here are a couple of good-looking boys for your viewing pleasure.

Its a hard road finding the perfect woman....

I am kind of back online, but you know how it is....busy busy busy.
Actually I am surprised at how busy I have been since I got home, and at how much I have drunk. The day before yesterday was the first day I didn't drink any booze since about a week before I left NY, so very soon I will have to do a big old detox and stay off the booze for a few weeks so my poor old body doesn't collapse.
But not tonight, because my bff and her plp are coming over for dins, and there will be wine, and much rejoicing.

I now have an office in my old dept at uni and the university is paying for my internet access and so I can't really spend too much time blogging or I'll get in big piles of barney....so I'm off now to look up who can give me the fastest dial-up, because most of my family still live in dial-up land and seeing as how I am living with them in their various houses, I too must live in dial-up land.
Me Mum has gone to the land of the Jafa this weekend, so I have her house to myself until Thursday.....party anyone?

Photos to follow.....

This post might not get posted...

Because I'm writing it on me mum's computer which has some pretty severe emotional problems.
Ah, bloggers, I miss you! I miss my daily routine of reading all your mad vaguely coherent ramblings, and I miss being able to contribute to reducing the quality of bloggerdom, one post at a time. ALthough I must say, it doesn't suck at all to be able to sit and talk face to face to friends I have been seeing only in blogs for nearly a year.
Mum's in the kitchen right now cooking me some dinner, I have been at work all day at the old university, and its nice to know I will be getting paid for it at some point in the near future.
I have an icky cold and am deathly tired because I haven't stopped since I got home 2 weeks ago, but still, life is good.

In Indonesia everything's gone to shit yet again, and over 5 thousand people are dead, and East Timor is about to go bung, so please all of you pop over to the sidebar and pick either Oxfam or Red Cross and give them some of your hard earned dollars/pounds/euro/whatever so they can try and get some water and food to the poor bastards who have lost their houses and their loved ones.

Ok thats all, I think I hear a glass of merlot calling me....
Sorry, this post isn't very good.

Australians and other fun things

OK so some sneaky people aka Sarah sneakily arranged, in a sneaky manner, to have a couple of Australians come over for my birthday, which was rather sneaky. First Janine turned up on Wednesday, and then late Friday night The Chad arrived while we were drinking at Sammy's, much to my surprise.
What a nice present.

And now I'm at me Dad's house and have just delivered young Janine to the airport and am about to meet young Chad for his first Dux experience and I know I'm all promises at the moment but a proper blog about the deliciousness of my birthday party and our whistle stop tour of the South Island complete with photos is imminent.

I miss Holly and Rebecca, but its ok cos I bought them crappy souvenir presents.

Update: there is life beyond the internets

I know this because I have been living it!!! So exciting.
I am staying at my sister's house, complete with cretaceous era computer and (dear God save us!!) DIAL UP (oh the horror). So I have barely been checking my emails, let alone blogs.
I have loads of cool photos from LA I am gagging to share with you, and rest assured there will be more tomorrow as well, because The Big Party is tonight, at which I wear my smashing new frock, drink lots of cocktails and see all my mates I haven't seen for months.

And now I must go and get my bad self organised....
Blog friends, I miss you all, and as soon as I have myself ensconced somewhere with broadband at the very least, I will be back.

Los Angeles...

I'm in LA, hanging with bloggers, life is good, going home tonight, yay.
At Sunshine's, with Allbright and Brandon and Ciavarro, got drunk last night with Heather and Tony P and such....

Ah...to busy having fun to write more.

Goodnight, New York....

Too tired to think!!! My ride to the airport (three cheers for Holly!!) will be here in 4 & 1/2 hours, so I'm going nighty nights now and I will see some of you in LA, some of you in NZ, and some of you in my dreams.
Cheers Syracuse, its been grand. See you in August.

Watch my taillights fade to black....

Right about now I should by rights be doing the dance of happy joyousness, but I am completely wrecked. I just finished my final final paper for this semester, and life is just a wee bit rosier than before. Its not completely awesome, and I will probably read over it again in the morning before I email it to my prof, but the chances of me writing any more or actually fixing it are slim to none.

So to celebrate I am now going to climb into bed with Fox(y) Mulder. Ah, Netflix. How I will miss you when I am at home for three months. Although, I am likely to be doing actual real life fun things instead of sitting at a computer all day and taking short X-Files sized breaks. Wow, it sounds so foreign....and so much like I am a gigantic loser....

The continuing story of a cat who's gone to the dogs....

Today it is a super scrummywarm day and I have just got my fat arse out of bed and had a cup of tea and now I have to write MY FINAL FINAL PAPER for this semester and then see my friends and then pack my bags and then pack up my room for a possible potential maybe sublet all before 4.45am on Thursday which is when my beloved Holly is driving me to the airport.
Last night I drank Croatian brandy and loads of wine because my Croatian friend's Croatian husband kept refilling my glass about a gajillion times and I can't spell his name properly but am appropriately grateful for the fact that four of us sat at their dining table for many many hours drinking muchos wine and talking until 1.30am.
Then I came home and talked to Tim on Skype and he called me a lush for being boozy on a Monday night and I said "fair 'nuff" or words to that effect.
OK time now to do my hair.

Its blogger birthday shout-out time!!!!!

Today is a good day. Today is the 8th of May (well on the East Coast it is...it will be so on the West Coast in 2 hours and five minutes) and on this day...

- the Mahatma began a fast to protest the British occupation of India (1933)
- Sir David Attenborough was born (1926)
- John Stuart Mill died (1873)
- The Tate Modern Gallery opened (2000)

and my friend Sunshine was born!!!! (an undisclosed number of years ago...)

And look at all the pretty pictures one gets when one does a google image search for Sunshine! I'm not going to post her picture either...haha

So, everybody please run on over to her blog and say Happy Birthday To You.

Sweetie I am SO EXCITED about our LA adventure its not long now, and thank you for hosting me, and I can't wait until this weekend's Blogstock!!!

Doing the happy dance already....

I just wrote this sentence....

"While theories of the global political economy premised on the notion of abstract individualism (such as Adam Smith) subscribe to the notion that economic activity can be apolitical and objective, the historical materialist perspective that recognises the inherent subjectivity and social construction of reality precludes the notion of a universalistic human nature and therefore the existence of an objective realm of activity".

...and it makes me sound way cleverer than I actually am.

Last night.....

We had a party.....lots of people came....loud music was played......there was dancing......booze was drunk....fun was had......a mess was made of my house......and this morning in a rush of blood to the head I decided it would be a really good idea to clean the house......half the furniture is still on the porch.....can't be bollocksed moving it.....have papers to write.....holy fuck what was that all about on Lost am confused/intrigued....have a smashing day....

I can always tell when a whitey's talking out of his ass. It's a gift.

Holy crapola the internet is evil it truly is I kid you not.
Otherwise how do you explain the fact that its now 8pm and I'm still working on my paper and am not that far through it really but I am completely up-to-date on upcoming episodes of CSI NY and the original CSI and actually went to the CBS site and looked at the picture they've been advertising on the telly that supposedly gives a clue to whats going to happen in the final episode and its got this magnifying glass feature and the only thing I could see was that CSI Warrick Brown was looking Fine.

Booya.

Also it was kind of hot today which was all well and good but kind of hot in the rest of the world means Hellaciously Hot in my bedroom and so I've had the fan going for the first time this year and its not really doing that much but now its raining and everything smells scrummy so I want to go and sit on the porch but no can do because I have this fucking paper to do arse shit fuck cunty bollocks.

Ok bye.

Rockin' the Suburbs

Its 10.54am and I have to write a paper today well not so much write a paper but somehow manage to turn about 35 pages of average into 25 pages of brilliant and its a scrummy sunny day and I want to cover my freckles in suncream and go outside and play but thats really not going to happen.
In one week's time I will be on my way to LA to see my friend Miss Sunshine who is very pretty you should all know.
Before that I have to do this paper today and then write my IPE paper which I haven't even started and write a report for my methods class and do some other stuff for that course as well and pack my bags for three months at home and find someone to sublet my room so I don't have to pay all the rent when I won't even be here.
Ok stop blogging then and get on with it.

I feel sunburnt...which is funny, cos I'm really not.

There is really no purpose whatsoever to this post....

I bought a Death Cab For Cutie album...its good. I am probably the last person to jump on the Death Cab For Cutie bandwagon but hey.
I am a crazy person who thinks shit up for no apparent reason than to drive myself even pottier than I already am. This is not news, merely an observation.
I did a presentation tonight, it was awesome. Now I only have 3 final papers to write....PIECE OF PISS MATE!!!!
It is entirely possible that due to last weekend's poor showing, the Mighty Crusaders have played themselves out of a home semi-final, which does indeed suck the big one because I was looking forward to sitting in the box with my beer and sandwiches and cheering them on.....but also means that planning my party just got a lot easier. My Chc party, not my 'Cuse party or the LA party.
PARTY WHORE!!!!
Read this its funny.
I just did the most awesome beer burp it made my nose tickle and was just brilliant.

Ok bollocks to this I'm going to bed.

Don't you hate it when....

You write something in an email and you assume its going to be taken as me taking the piss, and then you get a response that seems as if it could go either way, either taking the piss right back or actually being pissed off at what you said and you don't know which one to choose?
Also, having this happen when you have a brain that decides not to turn off when its bedtime and so you know that you'll lie in bed awake for hours stressing about this tiny insignificant little thing when if you were going to be awake for hours it would at least be for worrying about something really important?

And don't you really hate it when you have to pee and your roommate is in the bathroom?

Holy fucktacular fucksicles Batman!!!!

Right bitches here is the news.
There is a part-A at my house (in the 'Cuse) on Friday and if you are within cooee and I don't hate you then please come to it so I can pretend I have friends.
Otherwise come to the party we're having in LA the Friday after that.
Or come to the party I'm having in Chc the weekend after that.
(The me not hating you clause applies to all three)

So many parties.
So little......wait.....there must be SOMETHING I have too little of....*time passes while Claire munches on Triscuits and tries to figure it out*....

SO FEW PARTY FROCKS!!!