Thursday, March 25, 2004

"Probably the best news my thesis has ever had" - D. A. Searle, 2004

Well this is officially the week that sucks, for many.
There are theses due, there are relationships ending, there are furry friends to be mourned, there are friends leaving us, and there are visitors returning home.
Yes, Tim has gone to Auckland for 5 days, is returning on Wednesday for a whole 3 hours, and is then off on a big plane back to Nova Scotia. Yes, in Canada. Half a world away. Arse.
I'm strangely pragmatic about the entire experience, which is a shock to me more than anything, I'm usually the one with all the half-baked plans, which is why I need Sarah to bring me back to earth in her own unique way. Usually "Fucking sort your shit out you great flake". I'd be completely fucked without her. Yay for Sarahs.
Anyway, its kind of a good feeling, knowing that there may, in fact, be hope for me, and that I'm not necessarily destined for spinsterhood with 43 cats and oversized purple jumpers. Even though the only man I've met in the last five years that I could possibly maybe potentially learn to deal with and won't run out on me after a week or so cos I'm completely fucking crazy is leaving, its nice to know that he exists. One finds comforts in the strangest places. And its nice to finally come across a grain of hope in the train wreck of ones life (sorry about the bad metaphors). Theres a line in "Magnolia" (fine fucking movie if there ever was one) that goes: "We may be finished with the past, but the past is not finished with us". For a long time that was appropriate, but this whole experience of this crazy fucked up beautiful horrible week has taught me that while we are all the sum total of our experiences, it just might be possible to close the door. The person who said "that which does not kill you makes you stronger" had no fucking idea about anything.