Holy Toilet Hugging Hangover, Batman!!!

I feel like complete arse.
Arse that has been marinated, grilled, chewed up, spat out, jumped up and down on, put through a blender, laid out on a cricket pitch and then steamrolled over.
Booze + Claire = Pain.

We had this hoojimmy at ours last night, people from the university came and talked about that weird space we inhabit between student and faculty, and then there was food, and wine (lots of wine) and after a while we got sick of the talking so I put Fat Freddy's on and there was grooving and then I put some Phoenix Foundation on and there was much rejoicing and then some people went to Harry Potter (you're a wizard, 'Arry!) and some went bowling and Rebecca and I were going to go bowling too but there was much disorganisation and drunkeness and some more wine so we ended up at Taps (pub up the road) where there was beer and darts (at which I completely suck) and foozball (also on the list of "things at which I suck") and its all a blur really.

I have no idea when Sanjukta and I staggered home, but it was pretty darn late!! I have vague recollections of calling Rebecca and shouting at her answerphone "Are you alive!! I'm going home!! Bye!!"

Awoke at 7.30 am, gave consideration to chopping my head off to stop the pain, but decided to go back to sleep instead.
Awoke at 12.30, went down for a cup of tea, went back to bed.
Awoke at about 1.30, went downstairs to puke, went back to bed.
Awoke at about 2.15, went downstairs to puke, sat in the shower for 20 minutes hugging my knees and begging forgiveness, went back to bed. Remembered to turn shower off.
Awoke about 5pm, went downstairs for food, discovered the toilet was blocked. Swore loudly and often. Went to the downstairs neighbours for a wee and ended up borrowing their plunger, as our one is officially crap. Unblocked the toilet. Make a mental note that unblocking toilets while crippingly hungover is on a par with trying to change a baby's nappy while in a similar state. Clean bathroom floor (thankfully only liquid mess, but still pretty gross). Wash hands with scaldingly hot water and about ten pounds of soap. Note tendancy to exaggerate.
5.45 ish, cook big disgusting mess of hash browns, eggs, tomatoes and toast. Mmmm. Fried goodness.
6.15 ish, retire to room in an attempt to do some work, because have been complete write off the whole day. End up reading blogs and listening to Interpol.

Now its 7.15 pm, and perhaps the time has come for me to actually do some of the great fuck off pile of work I have to do before Tuesday.

Arse, I tells ya.

Edit: 7.26pm: realise that at some point during the day I have lost my ability to reconcile past and present tense while blogging hungover.
7.27pm: come to terms with my new disability