Why.....

do I not have any money
are my arms so freaking long
do I get indigestion at the same time every day, no matter what I had for lunch and no matter what time I had lunch
do birds suddenly appear
is abbreviation such a long word
doesn't Viggo love me
are my socks wet
are we here
am I not at the pub
is Blogger being a cunty bastard
does my computer try and play me the same songs every day
does my hair go all boofy
do mean stupid people run the world
do nice guys finish last
does it cost so much to fly anywhere
can't I get a puppy
do people make computer viruses
am I not in Fiji
do people buy white sugar when it is nasty and raw sugar is so much nicer and healthier
do restaurants insist on putting raw onion in, and thereby spoiling, a perfectly good salad
is my office such a mess
are tampons taxed as a luxury item
does nail polish never stick to my fingernails or toenails
is Monty Python still funny when I have seen it all loads of times
did the Beatles split up
are some people just so damn ugly
do I have so many books
isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds
do people take themselves too seriously
isn't everybody smiling
can't I buy trousers that cover my bum instead of those skanky hipsters that leave half your arse hanging out for the world to see
am I not Prime Minister of the world
am I hungry when I had lunch an hour and a half ago
are schoolchildren not taught formal grammar anymore
are people who are mean to dogs not tortured with hot pokers
can't I offload information that still lives in my head but that I don't need anymore

not.