Monday, December 05, 2005

Live through this with me I swear that I will die for you

Yep, its the Hole post. I freaking LOVE Hole. Punk rock, motherfuckers!!! And I believe in sharing my love of things with everybody.
When I was 18 I went to Auckland to my very first Big Day Out because Hole were playing for 50 minutes. And damn, it was worth it. I had to get a second job for the sole purpose of paying for the airfares, because my normal activities in the university summer holidays involved doing sweet FA. But not in the summer of 94-95 (do the math, yes. That's really how old I am.) because that summer I was working in some crappy office in Lyttelton and saving every cent so I could see Hole live.

Yes, I know that in recent years Ms Love has lost it somewhat, what with the drugs, and some more drugs, and losing custody of her child, and getting ripped off by her dodgy accountant, and then some more drugs (step away from the crack pipe, Courtney!) but damn if she didn't make some killer records.

Take the very first Hole record, Pretty on the Inside. The title track is completely Punk, and not in a naff Green Day arsey "oh look we've got spiky hair we must be punk" kind of way, I mean in a screaming until your throat bleeds kind of punk. The good kind. The kind that allows you to channel all your pain and anger and shit and teen angst into one primitive wail. The cleansing kind.

Then of course, we have the second album. The sublime Live Through This. I was recently asked what five albums I couldn't live without, and this is definately one, but not in a "I love this record so much I must listen to it everyday or I'll simply die" kind of way. I mean that this record actually saved my life. OK, so it didn't jump out of the stereo and give me cpr, but I can honestly say that me surviving relatively unscathed through a particularly bleak period of my life has a lot to do with blasting this record so loud I completely shagged the speakers, and taking power from the fact that I could be angry instead of sad, that I could externalise it all and didn't have to take it all on myself, and the simple fact that the person speaking to me from this record sounded a lot like she knew what I was going through. And sometimes thats enough.
And then there's the lyrics. Unfortunately for Miss Courtney, this record was scheduled for release within a few days of her husband committing suicide. And when she sings things like "I made my bed I'll lie in it, I made my bed I'll die in it, I made my bed I'll cry in it" it gives one a little shiver. And her harsh wail on Gutless "You can try to suck me dry, but there's nothing left to suck, just you try to hold me down, come and try to shut me up".
Powerful stuff. Yes, I'm listening to it right now.
Doll Parts: "I want to be the girl with the most cake, I love him so much it just turns to hate, I fake it so real I am beyond fake, someday you will ache like I ache"

Then she got famous because of her dead husband when in reality she should have been famous for her awesome music and in my humblest of humble opinions I think Live Through This is superior to anything Nirvana did, and she made some movies, and got all glammed up but was still punk, and then Hole made Celebrity Skin.
This is a fine fucking record, don't get me wrong, and has some incredibly powerful songs, but it has a different meaning for me. Its the most radio friendly of the three records, I think Pretty on the Inside would probably cause most radios to fall apart, and there are some lyrics on this record that are just fucking amazing.
One of my favourites: Reasons to be Beautiful: "miles and miles of perfect skin, I swear I do I fit right in".
Petals, about the late Kristen Pfaff, former Hole bassist who od'ed three months after Cobain died: "she's the grace of this world, she's too pure, for the likes of this world, this world is a whore"
Playing Your Song: "I had to tell them you were gone, I had to tell them we were wrong, and now they're playing your song, they bought and sold it all its gone, they took it and they built a mall, and now they're playing your song"

And now that its past my bedtime I will leave you with the last word in this deranged fan-post from the lady herself. I'm off to bed now to dream of sweet loving.

Northern Star

And I cry and no one can hear
The blinded eyes that see
The chaos
Bring the pitiful to me
Even though I’m wide-awake, I will
& blackest night & I will wait for you
It’s cold in here, there’s no one left
And I wait for you
And nothing stops it happening
And I knew, I’d cherish all my misery alone
And I wait staring at the northern star
I’m afraid it won’t lead me anywhere
He’s so cold, he will ruin the world tonight
All the angels kneel into the northern lights
Kneel into the frozen lights
And they paid, I cry and cry for you
Ghosts that haunt you with their sorrow
I cried cos you were doomed
Praying to the wound that swallows
All that’s cold and cruel
Can you see the trees, charity and gratitude
They run to the pines
It’s black in here, blot out the sun
And run to the pines
Our misery runs wild and free
And I knew, the fire and the ashes of his grave
And I wait staring at the northern star
I’m afraid it won’t lead you very far
He’s so cold, he will win the world tonight
All the angels kneel into the northern lights
Feel their hearts, they’re cold and white
And I want you
And blessed are the broken
And I beg you
No loneliness, no misery is worth you
Oh, tear his heart cold as ice
It’s mine
And I wait, praying to the northern star
I’m afraid it won’t lead you anywhere
He’s so cold, raining on the world tonight
All the angels kneeling to the northern lights
And I pray, begging to the northern star
I’m afraid it won’t lead you anywhere
He’s so cold, he will rule the world tonight
All the angels, kneeling to the northern lights
Kneeling to the frozen lights
Feel their hearts, they’re cold as ice