Practice, practice makes perfect

OK I'm trying really hard to do this retarded presentation for Wednesday that actually has to be ready to go by Monday and really by tomorrow at 2pm because me and my fellow geeks are having a practice run and Marie-Lou wants to bring bacardi and get drunk while we practice our presentations anyway I am trying to get it finished but am doing a completely pants job of it cos I'm really tired and want to go downstairs and cook although I'm only very mildly hungry but I've had a piece of chicken marinating in garlic and feijoa vodka for a few hours and I'm going to grill it and make me some saucy chicken salad action this is a really long sentence time for a rest. Phew.
Today I helped Marie-Lou move into her new house that she bought how grown up and then we ate pizza and then I went home and remembered I had to return a library book so I stomped through the snow to uni and then did my washing and scotchguarded my clogs and made my bed and sewed my pillow case up and had a wee snack and I'm hungry again go figure. Whenever I'm really hungry and getting stuck in to loads of food my mum says "Are you pregnant dear?" cos shes cheeky and I reply "chance would be a fine thing, Elizabeth" cos I'm cheeky too.
So, my presentation is retarded and is only three slides long so far, I am going to cook a chicken salad and it will be the shiznit because I am a fricking domestic goddess and then I'll probably watch Crossing Jordan or maybe 24 and get all blase about not doing my presentation and then maybe have a wee vodka and come back upstairs and piss about on the internet for a bit although nobody will have written anything cos its Saturday night and everybody is out having a life but I'm a graduate student in the last fortnight of semester so have no life until the 19th of December and even then all my friends will go home to their families for Xmas and I'm stuck here being a Christmas orphan loser so I will while away the remaining weekends of my twenties in my red trackpants and slippers eating chicken salad and being a sad cow. OK now it sounds like I'm all morbid and depressed, which I'm not, because quite frankly, how could you be depressed when you're me? Really.
However, I BADLY NEED A WEEKEND IN THE CITY!!!! ANY CITY WILL DO!!!
That New Years party in Brooklyn is looking pretty good right about now, I am in dire need of some serious partying. Martinis, my brown boots, a pretty skirt and lipstick, lots of dancing and many hot boys. Maybe some sightseeing during the day, a stroll through Battery Park, a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge (I heart the Brooklyn Bridge) and some scrummy cafes, maybe a meal at Anthony Bourdain's restaurant (yes, I'm still stalking him, even though Fux cancelled Kitchen Confidential). Yep, I'm definately going to the city for a few days these holidays.
But now, vodka chicken.