Blatant plagarism for a giggle

In lieu of any good ideas of my own, here are some funnies. Via

Animalanche: When you kick your stuffed animals in your sleep and they
fall all over you or the floor.
Anticiparcellate (an ti si par' sel ate) - v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.
Backspackle (bak' spak uhl) - n. Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a fenderless bicycle.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Bixplex (biks' pleks) - n. Psychological block in which a person cannot choose which color of disposable lighter to purchase.
Blurfle (bler' ful) - v. To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Bugpedal (bug' ped uhl) - v. To accelerate or decelerate rapidly in an attempt to remove a clinging insect from a car's windshield.
Burgacide - n. What you call the desperate action of a hamburger leaping to its death through the holes in the Bar-B-Q grill.
Cereoallocative (ser r o al' o ka tuv) - adj. Describes the ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect cereal/banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
Choconiverous - adj. Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
Darf (darf) - n. The least attractive side of a Christmas tree that ends up facing the wall.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Ellacelleration: The mistaken belief that repeatedly pressing the elevator button will make it go faster
Execuglide (eks ek' yew glyd)- v. To propel oneself about an office without getting up from the chair.
Fetchplex (fech' pleks) - n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball and palmed it behind his back.
Flarpswitch (flarp' switch) - n. The one light switch in every house with no function whatsoever.
Flopcorn (flop' korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Fuffle (fuh' ful) - v. To assume, when dining out, that you are making things easier on the waitress by using the phrase "when you get a chance..."
Genderplex - n. The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g. turtles and tortoises).
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Decaflon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Gromaxes (grom' ack sis) - n. Inside area of knees used to grip steering wheel when holding a map.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Lactomangulation - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
Luposlipaphobia - n. The fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor.
Mozzalastics (maht suh las' tiks) - n. Large deposits of cheese that stick to the top of the pizza box.
Napression Marks (n): Those indentation lines on your face created by your bedding when you when you wake up.
Netsec - n. A Unit of time used in indicating work time lost due to reading net.jokes
Oopzama (ewp' za muh) - n. Sudden scratching of scalp or face upon realization that the person you were waving at isn't who you thought it was.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Pajangle (pah jan' gul) - n. Condition of waking up with your pajamas turned 180 degrees.
Penciventilation (pen si ven ti lay' shun) - n. The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
Pepperlonely...the piece of pepperoni left on the cardboard when you pick up a piece of pizza.
Pielibrium (pu lih' bree uhm) - n. The point at which the crust on a wedge of pie outweighs the filling and tips it over.
Pillsburglar (pilz' berg ler) - n. Person able to sample the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
Prestofrigeration: The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.
Pupkus (pup' kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. Purpitation - v. To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it in another section.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Shirmers - n., pl. Tall young men who stand around smiling at weddings as if to suggest that they know the bride rather well.
Slottery and Vendication (slot' er ee and ven' di kay shun) - n. A public misdemeanor in which a person gambles on a vending machine, loses, and tries to exact revenge by kicking it.
Snargle (snar' gul) - v. To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers.
Snuggage (snuh 'gaj) - n. The act of retying both shoestrings when only one needed it.
Squatic Diversion (skwa' tik dy vur' zhun) - n. Any pretended activity that commands a dog owner's attention while the dog relieves itself on a neighbor's lawn.
Squigger (skiwg' uhr) - n. A cherry tomato that explodes upon contact with a fork.
Subnougate (sub new' get) - v. To eat the bottom caramels in a candy box and carefully replace the top level, hoping no one will notice.
Upuls (yu' puls) - n. The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending.
Warbloid (war' bloyd) - n. The tiny device in cassette players that eats tapes.

36 days to deadline, so I'm spending my time wisely...